


Something Borrowed

by waiting4love



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Something Borrowed, Angst, Angst and Humor, F/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:18:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3627993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waiting4love/pseuds/waiting4love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak is the perfect role model to girls everywhere, she’s smart, funny, she doesn’t drink too much because she hates losing control, she doesn’t smoke because frankly she believes it would give her asthma and she doesn’t sleep around with boys who aren’t her fiancé. Felicity is the perfect role model, except she isn’t anymore, because on Oliver Queen’s 30th birthday she does the unthinkable and ends up in bed with her fiancé best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on one of my favorite romantic/comedies Something Borrowed (book and movie). I'm completely against cheating, I think in an ideal world we all are, but what happens when you do it anyway? That's a little what this story is about, Felicity's way of dealing with letting herself and everyone else down. It will be relatively short and most of the scenes are already written (I just need to get the ending right) so I'm planing on regular updates. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it. Also this first chapter is more of a prologue.

“Hey” He tells her sitting in the desk beside her. “Felicity right?” She glances at him shocked that Oliver Queen knows her name. She nods at him and he gives her a charming half-mile “I’m Oliver”

“I know” She blurts out and he smiles again letting out a chuckle this time.

“I need your help” He says and she knows this is a bad idea. Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen have no business being friends. But the universe has other plans and that day everything is set in motion.

\--

“I got in” He says entering the room with the biggest grin she has ever seen on his face, he comes near her desk and grabs her by the waist and hugs her tight. “Thank you” He whispers quietly in her ear.

“I didn’t do a thing” She tells him.

“Oh yes you did Miss Smoak, if it wasn’t for your immense knowledge in literature, math, physics and frankly everything I wouldn’t have gotten in” She sighs as a response, this was all him. “Did you get your letter?” He says as he lets her down and backs away a little bit. She nods. “So?”

“I’ll guess I’ll be seeing you around Queen”

It surprises him how incredibly happy he’s to hear she’s going to be a permanent part of his life, just a couple of months ago he didn’t even knew she existed, and now he feels he won’t ever forget.

\--

“Would you have dinner with me?” He asks casually a couple of days after they both get their acceptance letters.

“What?” Her eyes are wide in surprise, like he just asked her something outrageous.

“Dinner? Celebratory dinner given that we both got into our first choice university and—Dinner?” He explains trying to make it sound normal, like they always go out to dinner together, like it isn’t a big deal.

“Dinner sounds good” She replies with a small smile, she seems relieved so he doesn’t push it, he doesn’t tell her maybe it’s not just dinner after all.

\--

“Here” He says entering the empty classroom and handing her a cup of coffee from the new fancy coffee shop near school.

“Thank you?” She says and she knows he can hear the question in her expression. She takes a sip and lets out a satisfactory moan, he smiles and she flushes deeply as soon as she realizes he just heard her. “This is amazing, Oliver” Felicity adds sheepishly.

“You’re welcome Miss Smoak, I been a pain in your ass for the last couple of weeks so I thought you deserved a treat just for putting up with me”

He’s being charming she’s not sure if it could be called flirting but it isn’t just friendliness, she’s about to ask him why he’s giving her of all people that smile and that kind of attention when Laurel Lance comes running through the door. She hugs Oliver from behind and gives him a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. She waves at her, and Felicity is impressed she’s even acknowledging her since they had never talked before. Oliver appears surprised to see her but as soon as he turns around he’s giving her the same dashing smile he had displayed towards Felicity a few seconds before.

Maybe that’s what friendliness looks like to people like Oliver Queen.

\--

“Go away Oliver” She yells from inside her dorm room. She’s sick and having a week from hell and the last thing she needs is for him to want to take care of her. She gets it, she does, they are never going to happen romantically and it’s ok, but he has to stop making her feel special every time he has the chance to.

“Felicity open up. Don’t make me charm the pants out of your RA because you know I will” He’s kidding, she’s almost sure except… he would do it, and then it would be ten times more embarrassing for her.

She opens the door after a few minutes of consideration, and his smile is so bright and concerned that she wants to punch it out of his face. And that’s when she sees the box he’s carrying with him, he holds it towards her as a peace offering, she takes it and she scans it curiously: homemade chicken soup, mint chocolate chip ice cream, the princess bride dvd, and a green and very weird looking teddy bear she instantly loves. Oliver Queen is going to be the death of her.

\--

He enters her dorm as if it was his own, he’s been there so many times over the last year than he knows where everything is by heart, it also has something to do with Felicity being extremely organized, he can hear the shower running so he calls up to let her know he’s here and he’ll be waiting for her.

She comes out of the bathroom 15 minutes later her hair perfectly in place, she’s wearing a nice skirt and those ridiculous panda flats she seems to love, she looks beautiful and effortless and he has to think twice before he speaks, afraid to say the wrong thing or the right one too soon.

“Ready?” He asks softly and he feels completely exposed being there alone with her.

“Sure” She says with ease. It’s a regular Friday night and they are going out for drinks as they have done many times before, expect tonight he expects things to go in a slight different direction. “Before I forget did you speak to Helena? She texted saying she couldn’t reach you”

“She texted you?” He says with a little less control that he would’ve hoped. “I did speak to her, we um… broke up a few days ago and she isn’t taking the news very well apparently” He can’t tell her why they ended things yet, but he can tell she wants to ask. So he gives her a little more information to keep her from asking away. “She might move back home with her dad, so it’s better for everyone this way”

She doesn’t appear surprised, or mad, or happy, in fact Felicity is the perfect image of control at the moment, and honestly? It’s killing him.

“Good for you then” She says and gives him a soft pat on the back before moving toward the door and resuming their night as if the conversation hadn’t happened in the first place.

\--

They arrived at Verdant a place that had just opened a few blocks from campus. It was a pub, exposed brick walls, wood flooring, booths and dim lighting made the place cozy and familiar. It was packed and apparently Oliver had taken the time to make a reservation because they were seated right away, getting hard looks from everyone waiting in line to be seated.

Their both was in a far corner a green lamp hanging in the middle of the table giving a yellowish light, they sat across from each other and Oliver ordered a beer for himself and a red wine for her, usually when they went out to eat they didn’t drink so she thought it was a little unusual for him to order alcoholic drinks but she didn’t comment on it, maybe he needed one after his Helena situation this past week.

He was in the middle of a story about a prank the football team had pulled on the basketball guys, he was smiling devilishly at the craziness that had ensured when she caught it, his hands where slowly making their way towards hers, he was talking like crazy, which of course wasn’t a very Oliver Queen thing to do, not unless he was smashed and surrounded by hot girls and jocks, he was almost babbling and he was just inches away from holding her hand… was this… a date? Of course not she heard another voice in her head say. That’s crazy thinking Felicity, she thought over and over.

But… he had made a reservation, they never did that, also he had told her about the break up with Helena and had called her earlier in the day asking her to dinner, which also didn’t happened often usually he just showed up at her door and told her to get dressed because they were heading out and she would talk him out of it most times, he didn’t say: _hey let’s go out on a date,_ but he did call in advance to ask if she wanted to eat.

Now she was dying to ask him because every time he looked her way she felt like maybe it was.

“Fe-li-ci-ty” He said in that paused tone he used when she wasn’t paying much attention to the words coming out of his mouth.

“Huh?” She answered absentmindedly.

“Where did you go?” He said with a half-smile and in that moment his hands made the final inches disappear and they were holding hands, in the middle of a cozy public place, and he was giving him the look, the one she had seen few times in him, the one she almost always thought was a product of her imagination. It wasn’t.

“Oliver is this-“ She began saying, she couldn’t hold her questions any longer, if it wasn’t it would be a little bit awkward for a while but if it was… well… she wasn’t sure what she would do if he said yes to her question.

And before any more words could come out of her mouth a good humored voice called Oliver’s name and the moment was gone, he let go of her hands and glanced back to see a handsome black haired, blue eyed guy who was making his way towards them as if he owned the place. He gave Oliver a loud pat on the back and smiled charmingly at Felicity, his energy was so contagious that even if she had no idea who he was, she found herself smiling back at him.

“Tommy Merlyn” He said introducing himself and sitting next to her, almost too close for someone she had just met, but this guy had a way of making you feel safe and happy and she couldn’t help but smile at his silliness for the rest of the night.

\--

**5 years or so later…**

She was freaking out, in fact she’s sure she had never been this freaked out before in her life, she’s silently collecting her clothes from the floor and his soft snoring if the only thing keeping her from a meltdown. She messed up BIG TIME. For a girl who had never been in trouble in her life, this is way too much for her to handle, too much of a bad decision, too out of control.

She makes her way out of the bedroom feeling like a bond agent, but instead of fearless she’s scared to death to have him wake up before she can leave the premises. She can’t face him after last night; she doesn’t know what to say or how to act. The only thing she is sure of is that what happened between them can never happen again.

She has to get off her high horse she can’t ride it anymore because she just became the girl that cheats and that’s the last thing she ever wanted to be.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been a tough week for Felicity Smoak, she hasn’t been sleeping well, she has trouble looking her fiancé in the eyes and she’s sure she’s supposed to feel something like excitement when she thinks about her upcoming nuptials but instead she feels dread washing over her.

No, she’s not having second thoughts, yes she wants the wedding and she loves the groom, she does love him, very much. She also cheated on him on every level imaginable, because maybe if it had been just a physical thing… maybe if it was just- _I was very drunk and that guy was really hot and I don’t remember much of what I did_ Maybe then it wouldn’t be this bad, but it wasn’t like that, and she does remember and he would never understand.

Frankly she doesn’t understand it either, because as far as cheating goes it’s always been truly black and white to her.

Did you kiss someone who isn’t your boyfriend/fiancé/husband?

Yes = cheater.                                                  

Did you sleep with someone who isn’t your boyfriend/fiancé/husband?    

Yes = cheater.

Do you love someone who isn’t your boyfriend/fiancé/husband?    

Yes = cheater.

Did you do all of the above?

Yes, yes, maybe? Ok yes.

She has no way to explain even to herself how bad things are, she can’t tell her fiancé, she can’t talk to _him_ about it either, she can’t get herself to tell anyone not even Sara, who could probably understand and surely wouldn’t judge but- She doesn’t need to be understood or forgiven, she needs to make this go away, build a time machine and undo it, that’s the only way she can think that would make this better.

“I’ve been standing here for 5 minutes and you’re still looking into the void” A knowing voice tells her, she glances in the direction of the sound and sees Sara watching her with concern.  

She forces a smile as she greets her but her friend knows her too much to fall for it.

“Spill it out Smoak, you’ve been walking around like a crazy person during lunch hour this whole week, and yes your assistant told me, she’s worried we’re looking at a running away bride situation” Sara says and laughs at the last part, she laughs until she sees Felicity’s face drain of color and then she stops abruptly. “Felicity?”

Maybe she does need to tell Sara at least so she can help her make sense of things, otherwise it’s going to become more and more apparent to everyone that something is wrong. She’s about to tell her friend what happened or at least to begin telling her about Oliver’s birthday party when her phone rings. She looks at the screen and mixed emotions come to her as she reads his name.

“Hey babe” She answers after a few rings during which Sara watches her closely. Her tone is relaxed or attempting relaxation at the very least.

“Hey” She recognizes the voice as not the owner of the phone and her heart skips a beat. Felicity is not sure if hanging up would be too rude but- “Don’t hang up please” The voice says and it’s so strange to hear that tone in his usually carefree voice, that she doesn’t. “I can’t stop thinking about you; I don’t know what the hell to do… I need to see you”

“I can’t” She says as she tries very hard for her voice not to break, after this she has to tell Sara, there’s no way she can get away with it after this conversation even if she’s just hearing her quiet end of it.

Felicity hears some voices on the background of the call but nothing hinting at her fiancé’s voice, the real owner of the phone, the one she thought she was speaking to when she answered. He tells someone to hold on before speaking to her again. “See you at your place in an hour after I drop him off at the mansion, he’s spending the afternoon with Thea, so… I see you there okay? Please Felicity”

She’s sure she’s never heard him plead, much less with such brokenness. She wants to say no, she knows that’s what she should say too but… “Okay” That’s all she says and then the voice on the phone changes and she’s afraid the he heard what was being said before.

“Hey babe” Her fiancé says cheerfully, she breaths deeply.

“Hi how’s work going?” She asks as lightly as she can.

“Good just ran into some trouble with one of the contractors and-“ Somebody calls his name in the background and she overhears him reply before speaking back to her “anyway I told Oliver to call you to let you know I’m spending the afternoon at Thea’s, we’re bonding or something along those lines, I’ll be home late okay?”

“Sure, see you tonight then” She answers glad that the conversation is almost over so maybe she gets to breathe for real, soon.

“Love you” He says as he has always said in the past years and as always in perfectly synch she says it back and hangs up.

And then she breathes first heavily, then slowly and after Sara gives her a questioning look she breathes one last deep breath and tells her she has to run and she promises to tell her everything and she’s at her car in 5 minutes, and then she cries all the way home because she’s going to see him and she can’t explain what she’s feeling, but she knows for sure it’s not the way you’re supposed to feel for your fiancé’s best friend, it’s too much.

\--

He arrives exactly an hour later on the dot, which surprises her yes, because he’s never ever on time. They don’t hug, or kiss on the cheek, or touch. It’s too weird, she doesn’t want to push things, and she doesn’t want her senses remembering things, especially when they’re alone in the scene of the crime to top everything off.

At first he doesn’t even speak, and she doesn’t either, it requires an enormous effort on her part but she knows as soon as a word comes out the others would babble their way out.

“Can we just forget this happened?” She says a little while later when she can’t take the staring contest any longer. His eyes are way too invading and personal and- just too much.

He chuckles as if he might find it funny, but she knows by the tight way he’s holding himself that he finds it anything but. “Can we?” He says just to fill the silence apparently. “Can you just forget it?”

“I want to try, yes” She says because it’s the only other thing she’s been thinking about other than the time travel alternative.

“Why did it happen Felicity?” He asks her again with too much meaning, and she feels overwhelmed by him and his emotions and he’s not even saying anything concrete yet.

“You were emotional about turning 30, I had wedding jitters, we we’re drunk” She beings listing things out of the top of her head, excuses really, not real reasons.

He sighs. “I wasn’t that drunk, you had one drink…” He says as if that makes all of her arguments invalid.

“It was a mistake” Felicity adds with conviction, with what she thinks it’s conviction.

“If you want to push me away lying to me is not the way to go about it” He says because he knows they were both very much on their senses when it happened. “We were not drunk. And it might have not been the best thing timing wise but, don’t tell me it was a mistake, don’t lie”

“Fine” She says letting out a big breath, clearing her throat and settling her eyes in his before speaking “It wasn’t a mistake, but it doesn’t matter what it was because I’m going to marry Tommy who’s your best friend, who’s been the most caring, wonderful boyfriend I have ever had. Is not fair for me to change all his life, our lives for something that won’t go anywhere” She’s almost screaming, her words are loud and full of anger and maybe not at Oliver, maybe just at herself.

“You don’t know that” He says defensively.

“I know that I don’t want it to Oliver” She says deciding to hold his hand in hers, brushing her finger across his knuckles delicately “Five years ago you were everything I wished for…” She allows herself to say, hopping that by being truly honest they can get through this with a little ease “but it didn’t happen, and now it can’t”

“You think you’ll make him happy when you’re thinking about everything that we didn’t get to have? You think you can make a life with him when I’ll be there every step of the way on the sidelines to remind you of all the what ifs” He can’t control the words running out of his mouth, he’s probably being too forward and hurtful, he can’t help himself. He wants her too much to let it go without a fight.

“That’s just not fair Oliver” She says and he can see the tear threating to fall through her pink cheeks.

“You didn’t tell me Felicity, you didn’t tell me we had a chance and when I introduced you to Tommy I just thought that was what you wanted”

She laughed but it was full of pain. “Oliver you were dating multiple women at the time, your priorities were all over the place and all I was to you was the nerd girl who got you to make the most of your classes, in what universe would you ever want to be with someone like me?” She’s not that girl anymore, the girl that doubts herself, she knows how much she’s worth but freshman year Felicity’s getting to speak up for the last time.

“In this one right here” He says catching her face with his hands “I was completely infatuated with you, I never thought you’ll give me a chance and I never expected for you to have feelings for me”

She lets out a short laugh filled with frustration, taking his hands off her face standing up and moving across the room, looking for distance.

“Oliver” She said and her words sounded broken to her own ears, she couldn’t handle him saying those things, she couldn’t not think about the what if, he was right about that so all she could do now was stop. “We have to forget this ever happened. That’s all there is to it”

“So we just lie?” He asks apparently surprised she’s talking this approach.

“I don’t recall lying being a problem for you before” She says defensively “Also we are not lying, if Tommy asked straight up I wouldn’t be able to lie to him” She knows a lie by omission is as bad as any other lie but she needs to find comfort somewhere at the moment.

“I’ve never lied to you, everyone else maybe but no you” He tells her ignoring the rest of her words. And she hates that feeling that comes to her just by knowing what he’s saying is true.

“You better go” She says finally looking out the window trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

“Listen to me” Oliver says standing up and joining her near the window “I’m going to go and I won’t tell Tommy, the last thing I want to do is hurt him, the very last thing I’m doing though is letting you go. I’ll give you time and I’ll give you space… But I don’t think I could handle being the best man at your wedding” He doesn’t say anything else, not even goodbye as he closes the door and storms out of her apartment, promising her just the opposite.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your incredible support with this story. I'm so happy you're liking how things are going. I'll try to post a new chapter every other day so we can get to the happy (or unhappy) ending fast.   
> Also I don't have a beta and English it's not my first language so if you find any mistakes it's all on me.   
> Happy reading!

“Basically he’s claiming he has some power over you? Like what was that supposed to mean?” Sara points out while taking another sip of her wine. They’re sitting in Sara’s couch as she has finally arrived at the end of the story; she didn’t give her many details, just enough information to get perspective.

“The problem is Sara, he does. He does have power because you know how in movies they go on and on about how you just know it? How when it’s right it just feels like that from the get go? The first time I met Tommy I was nervous because I thought Oliver and I were on some kind of date, but then Tommy showed up and it was clear that they had planned for that to happen so I was a little disappointed but Tommy was cute and charming and funny, and he took care of my blues. He nursed me back to happy without ever knowing that I wasn’t happy before him” She knows she’s rambling, she can’t stop herself she feels like word vomit comes out of her mouth continuously, but there’s just so much she’s feeling and normally her brain to mouth filter doesn’t work too well, in stressful situations it just gets worst.

“Tommy is good at that sort of thing” She tells her quietly.

“He is” Everyone knows Tommy doesn’t deserve any of this and that’s what makes everything ten times worst.

“But that’s probably not the point you’re trying to make?” She asks probably trying to distract her from her guilt trip.

“It isn’t. The first time I met Oliver? I won’t say it was love at first sight because that would be ridiculous, but the second he came looking for me, calling my name in that empty classroom I felt a calmness, like peace, like I had found something I didn’t know I was looking for.  I have never felt that with anyone else… and the night we slept together… well that feeling, that sureness was multiplied by a hundred” She’s crying now because obviously feeling sureness over someone who isn’t your other half, who’s not the one you intent to marry, well it creates conflict, conflict it’s what she’s been running from her whole life and as if happens she standing in the middle of it, without much idea about how to resolve it.

Sara sighs a little “So he’s right? That asshole” She says closing the distance between them in the couch and giving her a comforting side hug.

“I want to marry Tommy. I feel like is the right thing to do” She says without much determination and then more quietly she adds “But I’m not sure I can anymore”

\--

“Look mom right now I don’t have time to deal with wedding—No, of course I care—Mom listen to me, I’m at work and my to-do list is endless and I can’t—Bye then”  She finally yells letting out an exasperated sigh as soon as the phone is down in her desk again. Donna Smoak was never an easy person to deal with, and when she added to that the wedding planning extravaganza and her work load, her patience was running low.

“You seem like you need some of this” A voice says from the glass door that led to her office. Oliver was standing there looking very dashing in a gray suit and a cup of her favorite coffee in one hand. She smiles in spite of herself, and he smirks happily making his way to her desk and handing her the cup. “Rough day?”

“You can say that” She tells him before taking a big sip of her coffee and humming with satisfaction. This was just what she needed. And of course Oliver Queen knew that, it was like the man had a six sense when it came to her needs. It had always been like that, except he never noticed her attraction to him, which was so obvious it was almost impossible for her to believe that it went unnoticed for so long. And after last week, it is as if that six sense has been amplified. It scared her in more ways than one. “This is amazing, thank you so much from reading my mind or whatever it is you do, I really appreciate this-“

“But?” He interrupted with a knowing glance.

“Huh?”

“But you can’t be here Oliver? We talked about this? I’m going to go through with the wedding? All of the above?” He says and she has to stop herself from sighing again. How did he do that? Literally read her mind? Couldn’t he have done that 5 years before? And maybe none of this would’ve happened.

“Oliver…” There were no words, because he was right that was exactly her argument and they both knew it by heart already. “I don’t how else to say this”

“I don’t care about the words you use Felicity simply because to me they’re empty promises. I finally know you want this, and I’m done looking the other way” She was about to speak up again when he continued “That’s not why I’m here though. I heard you needed some help with the investors and you know how good I am at charming people so why don’t I come to dinner and get you that deal?” He says it as if it was the most common thing the world, like he always came to people to offer his business strategies.

“You hate those dinners” She replies because it was the easier thought to voice.

“I don’t when you’re there with me” He says with a little emotion.  “Remember when we closed that deal with Palmer Tech? I’d been trying to get Ray to agree for months and then you show up and he’s like putty in your hands” He lets out a smile just remembering how incredible it felt to close that deal with her by his side.

“You had the wrong approach you dealt with him like a business man and Ray is a scientist he doesn’t care much about profit he cares about ideas and innovation” She responds matter-o-factly at which he smiles again.

“He’s like you Felicity and I love that about you” She would be lying if she said that that sentence hadn’t had an impact on her heart rate, he wasn’t saying he loved her but… it didn’t matter anyway. She couldn’t. “Then again if you want to close the deal with Luthor Corp you need my savvy business man charm. So what do you say? Me, you and a bunch of old rich men?” He’s playing it light, like this has nothing to do with his promise from earlier this week to not let her go.

She’s aware this is a strategy, Oliver is after all a business man and he knows how to do his job, if she’s being honest with herself she also knows she needs him, his help would make everything easier and she’s been trying too hard to close this deal to reject his offer. So she lets herself play it light, just like he is, but with her own strategy in mind.  

“You’re irresistible when you talk business to me” She tells him with a small smile “Thank you” She adds and this time it has a different connotation, she is thanking him for going out of his way to help her, to take some pressure off her. She is thanking him because he knows how important that contract is for her new company and with his assistance it’s almost a done deal.

“See you tonight Miss Smoak” He says making his way out of her office with a pleased smile on his face.

\--

“Hey babe, so Ollie told me he was joining you at dinner tonight?” Tommy says entering her room carrying a small bag she has never seen before.

“Yes he is. I’ve been trying to close this deal for more than a month now and he offered to help” She tells him as if it was totally normal for Oliver to that for her. Felicity was trying really hard to act casually but the fact that she had to act around Tommy was making her miserable. She hated lying, she hated having to be this person but she made a mistake and if she told him about it now it would only hurt him. It wasn’t worth it. It was a one-time thing, a get it out of her system thing.

“So you didn’t ask? He just offered?” He asks her casually or at least he appeared to be casual about it. She felt so on the spot now that she couldn’t tell normal or abnormal behavior anymore.

“Mm… Yeah. It was his idea” She says and instantly she feels like she should have lied about it.  Offering business help was not something Oliver was known for doing, this was definitely abnormal behavior on his part. Because she had slept with him and now he wanted to win her over. Was the sex really that good? Well she didn’t need to think too much about it to know it was way better than just good.

“I’d be surprised if it weren’t for the fact that Ollie loves playing hero when it comes to you” He says leaning in and kissing her forehead softly. “Look what I got us” He sits next to her on bed and opens the bag he had been carrying around. He pulls out a white box and a weird plastic see through package both unidentifiable objects for her.

“What is it?” She asks a bit confused by his excitement.

“A did a little online shopping” He says actually thrilled “And got us the weirdest things, like for example this wedding time countdown clock” He tells her opening the white box and getting out a normal looking clock that read the days, hours, minutes and seconds digitally and below had **_until our wedding day_** encrypted in pink letters. “Isn’t it cool? Like next time you’re wondering: When am I going to be Mrs. Merlyn? You just have to take a glance over here and you’ll instantly know who much time till all your dreams come true” Tommy was beaming, like he was so happy to have bought this ridiculous stuff she couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Also” He proceeded when she saw her positive reaction “I got us a honeymoon survival kit” He gestured to the other odd looking purchase “It has all the essentials like **_guaranteed step for perfect sex_** , not that we need it right? Also a **_hot passion extinguisher,_** that is something we’ll definitely use I’m sure”

She is laughing at his crazy ass ideas, and she feels like the only appropriate response to all this craziness is to kiss him. So she did and he kissed her back a little more passionately that she intended. She needed to get ready; they had no window for sex if she planned on getting to the dinner on time.

“Apparently we’re going to need that extinguisher right now Mr. because I need to get to dinner and you know how much time I need to look my best” She tells him as soon as she pulls away with her hand around his neck still.

“You always look your best to me silly girl” He says giving her a quick kiss. “But you better get away fast before I can’t help myself and you end up missing your important thing. I’ll just let myself out and maybe I’ll be back later before you get here, and perhaps then we can have a really fun sleepover”

“If this dinner goes right you’ll probably get lucky tonight Merlyn” She says with a last quick kiss as she pulls herself up and goes straight to the bathroom. Feeling happy and sad, most of all guilty, like the worst person that had ever walked this earth. That man out there, the guy that had put up with all her walls and restraints and her lack of trust. He didn’t deserve what she had done to him; she had done exactly what she was afraid he might do to her at some point, at the beginning of their relationship. She had cheated, and she had lied, and she was a horrible person. 

And when she got out of the shower and saw the countdown clock sitting in her side table reading 35 days 18 hours 4 minutes and 30 seconds, she knew destiny was trying to remind her of the time she had to get over it. She was marrying Tommy, she was because she loved him and he loved her and 4 years of a good relationship are no something you throw away when the other love of your life decides to show up.

 


	4. Chapter 4

“I was wondering where you went” He says closing the door behind him and glancing down at the city from the 21st floor balcony there were now standing at. “I thought you didn’t like heights” He comments when she doesn’t say anything after a while.

“Oh I don’t, I really don’t. But… I might be in too much of a shock right now, so I’m not acknowledging how many feet in the air I’m at right at this moment” She replies looking in the direction of the city but he could tell she wasn’t really seeing it. “I can’t believe I got it Oliver. I mean without you I would have spent probably 6 more months in this process, I might have lost the contract completely and now… Wow” Felicity says with a short nervous laugh. “I’m going to get this thing patented. Smoak Industries is officially on business, is not just me and my assistant and a shared lab in a big office complex. It’s real. We’re getting a real lab and a better office and…. Wow” He lets out a laugh because she was babbling and she was so cute and excited he couldn’t help himself. She glances at him with so much emotion he’s finding it hard to breathe. “I don’t have enough words to thank you for this. This is everything” She tells him and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and show her what everything really was. How she was everything to him, and he would do something like this ten times over if it would just make her smile for a while.

“You and me?” He tells her in a deep voice while approaching her and taking her hands in his. “We’re a team and I’m always going to be here for you. Because you’re my partner Felicity, without you I’m useless more often than not. So don’t thank me, you deserve this, you deserve all that you can come up with in life alright? And if you ever need my help to make something easier for you, you won’t even have to ask” She smiles at that and he has to look away for a moment to get himself under control.

Until he looks back up and suddenly he’s leaning down for a kiss because everything in the moment is calling for it, because she was looking at his lips and his eyes and he saw the want in them clearly, so he goes for it and she pulls away immediately not giving him a chance to get a word out before she storms out of the balcony.

He is an idiot and whenever he forgets that? He just goes and proves it to himself once more.

\--

“You ready babe?” Tommy says peaking inside her room and when he sees her in the exact same position he left her in 20 minutes ago he sits down beside her mostly asleep figure. “Felicity Smoak why are you sleeping in on a beautiful Saturday morning when we are supposed to get to the Queen’s summer house?” He says softly messing with her hair.

“I don’t want to go Tommy” She pouts like the little 5 year old she is. “I want to stay here on my pjs all day, watching series with you on my favorite sofa. Please don’t make me go” He smirks at her, his eyes bright and cheerful.

“Felicity…” He says sweetly “Thea is going to murder us in cold blood if we don’t show up before lunch. I love you but we both need to be alive for that to go somewhere so don’t fight this” She’s fighting a smile, because honestly? Tommy is too cute for her own good.

“So there’s not a thing you would like for me to do that could somehow get us out of going over there for the weekend?” She asks with her eyes closed and a wicked smile on her face. She’s willingly to try anything if there’s a chance she might get out of spending the weekend at that house.

“Get ready and stop teasing me woman! I’m going to make some coffee and I really hope you get up or else… I’m calling Thea” He says laughing his ass off and getting out the door before she can tempt him for real.

Half an hour later they’re driving to her summer nightmare. The plan was to spend every weekend till the wedding in that house with the Queen siblings and some other drop by friends. Thea she could handle, but Oliver? Oliver I-won’t-let-you-marry-Tommy-you-belong-with-me Queen? She wasn’t so sure.

And after the short road trip they arrived at the beautiful beach house the Queen family owned near Coast City and to make matters a little more complicated the woman who opens the door is none other than Laurel Lance, assistant district attorney, Oliver Queen on and off girlfriend and Tommy Merlyn’s very first crush. This was about to get messy.

“Laurel hey” Tommy says with a nervous smile Felicity recognizes very well “Didn’t think I would find you here, even though I thought this would be your house someday” Tommy Merlyn was usually a very swell guy, he could charm anything with a pulse, he knew what to say what smile to give, when to give it. He was a charmer, unless he was standing in front of Laurel, because then he turned into a very sloppy version of himself. He babbled, said and did awkward things and was overall not at his best.

Laurel didn’t even looks taken aback by the commentary; Felicity isn’t sure if it is because she is so used to Tommy’s terrible comments around her or because the remark didn’t hurt like it once had.

“It’s good to see you Laurel” Felicity says giving her a quick hug and pulling Tommy into the house before he could do or say something bad.

“Like wise Felicity, I’m sure you much rather be spending your last single weekends in the city but who can argue when Thea Queen and her antics?” She said good humoredly. And yes was right, no one can get out of Thea’s plans without a decent explanation and she has a very good one, one she can’t give unless she wants to lose her life as she knows it.

“I’m so glad the happy couple finally decided to step away from the Smoak apartment of sin and join us here in our humble abode” Thea Queen herself says coming out of the kitchen and embracing both Tommy and Felicity in a warm and slightly strange group hug. “Thanks for coming Felicity, I thought I would have to go there and get you myself”

“I used your name as a thread countless times this morning” Tommy tells her and she smiles back proudly giving him a high five. “Nice work bro” It was still a little disturbing to see Tommy and Thea as brother and sister, mainly because she was sure that somewhere along her early teens Thea had a mayor crush on him. Two years ago when Moira had faced a trial for embezzlement the truth had come out that Thea wasn’t actually a Queen, it was a rough patch for everyone. Oliver couldn’t believe her mom had kept something like that from his father all his life, he also couldn’t believe he and his best friend shared a sister. But after a lot of yelling, screaming and mainly rebelling on Thea’s part they were all a little happy dysfunctional family.

Mr. Merlyn wasn’t precisely a good guy and he was almost never around, whenever he was though, Thea and Tommy mostly ignored him, they had decided that the only good thing that had come out of that whole messed up situation was that they were siblings and everything else didn’t matter. Robert Queen would always be Thea’s true father and Tommy’s view of his father was so damaged already that it didn’t make a dent in their terrible relationship either way.

“Merlyn so good of you to show your face” Oliver says coming into the living room wearing what appeared to be his sleeping clothes: loose silk pants that hung low on his hips and a fitted white t-shirt. He looked hot, dammed him.

“Ollie now we can call this a party” He replies hugging his best friend and patting his back forcefully.

“Hey” Oliver says to Felicity approaching her and kissing her cheek softly.

“Hello” She responds pulling away from him immediately. She hopes that didn’t look as awkward as it felt.

\--

“Laurel wasn’t supposed to come” Thea says as soon as Felicity’s bedroom door is closed behind them. “I invited Sara who said she couldn’t make it and she somehow had mentioned it to Laurel so now we’re stuck with her”

“Hey don’t mind me, I like Laurel” Felicity tells her and it is mostly all true., except on the small moments here and there were gorgeous Laurel brought out every little insecurity she has ever had regarding her relationship with Tommy, her body image and even her accomplishments career wise. She knew it wasn’t really Laurel fault, the woman was nothing but cordial and kind to her but she felt threatened every step of the way and it sucked.

“Uh-huh” Thea replies sitting on the bed and looking at her with disbelief. “You don’t need to play it cool with me Felicity, Laurel is a good girl and everything but my brother is a mess when he’s around her”

“Yeah well at least it seems like they have finally call it off permanently this time” She answers while unpacking her bag.

“I was talking about Tommy…” Thea points out and looks at her intently.

“Right. Tommy well… he’s just- I don’t know why he keeps letting her affect him, is like he’s not a working human being around her or worse is like he’s a 5 year old with no brain to mouth filter” She says with a quicker pace than needed just to cover her previous slip up about Oliver and Laurel’s relationship.

“It’s all platonic. You know that right? I mean he would never-“She says her trying to reassure her of Tommy’s feelings, it sucks to be reassured of your fiancé’s feelings when yours were all over the place.

“I know. I’m not actually worried about that” Felicity says immediately and confidently, almost too confident maybe.

“How very mature of you Mss. Smoak” Thea says good naturedly.

“Well someone has to be the grown up in this relationship” She jokes trying to change the subject, because talking to Thea about Tommy makes her a liar and she hates lying, she also hates the truth at the moment, her and Oliver’s truth.

“And it definitely won’t be my brother… Either of them” She adds laughing. “I think they might get back together you know? Like maybe not this weekend or even this month but Oliver and Laurel? I can’t image them not together on the long run. It’s like they’re a thing even when they’re not together. And it’s not even because they work so well, they do on paper but after everything Oliver has done to that girl you’d think she be smart enough to stay away… and then she isn’t and he charms her into trying again and you know how that goes, you’ve been front and center to that story for years” Thea ends her rambling looking at Felicity and for a second she feels like she is being studied, like her reaction to this particular subject matters somehow. She is probably being paranoid; she has a secret so she feels like everyone can see through it.

“Everyone deserves to be happy in their own twisted ways. And is clear that if Laurel decides to go through all that again, she’s as much to blame for what happens as your brother is” She says and immediately changes the subject because if there is something more uncomfortable than spending the weekend in the same house as Oliver and Tommy it’s talking to Thea about Oliver + Laurel = forever.

\--

The next morning when she goes down stairs it’s early, not like working day early but definitely early by weekend standards, so she’s a little surprised to see a shirtless Oliver sitting on the kitchen counter looking distractedly at the tv.

“Good morning” She says and he looks at her giving her a very blatant once over, he is checking her out and she’s wearing well… not much. Her pajamas are short shorts and a sleeves t-shirt. There isn’t supposed to be anyone up this early but of course Oliver Queen has changed even his sleeping habits this weekend.

“It’s better now” He tells her seductively, and it has the opposite effect of what he probably intended.

“You’re making me feel cheap Oliver; I don’t need your lines. More than that I don’t want then so just…don’t” She warns him as she sits down at the table with her back to him.

“I’m sorry” He says getting down from the counter and sitting across from her on the kitchen table. “I don’t know how to act around you lately” Oliver admits. “My charm doesn’t work on you”

“Why are you even trying to charm me? Just be my friend, we’re very good at it if the last 7 years are any proof” She says to him and she feels as if she was reprimanding a misbehaved child.

“Just friends doesn’t cut it for me anymore” He tells her seriously and she feels a bit threated, she feels like he’s saying what she deep down fears he would say. Was he actually telling her that if they couldn’t be more, he didn’t want to be friends anymore?

“Well let’s pretend for a bit and after the wedding we can have a public fallout and that’s that” She says and if it sounds like she’s given it a thought before it isn’t a coincidence.

“That’s not what I meant” He says visibly clenching his jaw. “Can we go for a walk?”

“No” She says without flinching.

“Come on Felicity, I’ll be on my best behavior” He promises and she knows he means it. What she isn’t so sure of is his concept of best behavior.

“Is this mine?” She asks taking the cup with her name on it on the table. There was a paper bag and different cups of coffee with everyone’s name on them, hers has a smiley face in it too.

“Yes. I went to the city like fifteen minutes ago to get it” He went to the city to get her coffee? Why is he even trying to charm her with words? This means so much more to her sleepy self.

“My favorite” She says because he hadn’t.

“After 7 years of coffee orders, some things stick” He says acting nonchalantly, but they both know that coming from him it means tons. Somehow she feels like she is rediscovering their relationship. Like she is seeing more clearly all the small things he has always done for her.

“So now you two are early risers? Shocking” Laurel says entering the kitchen already dressed in some designer jeans and a fitted t-shirt with an artsy print on it. “At least you got us coffee” She picks up the cup with her name on it and sips it, she gives him a look but he dismisses her entirely. “You forgot the cream” She points out already feed up with him apparently.

“I did?” He responds seemly annoyed that she is pointing it out to him.

“You always do” She tells him and before a very obnoxious discussion can start Felicity gets up and heads outside, leaving then to their argument and whatever other thing they had going on.

\--

“The kitchen is currently a war zone so try to stay away for a while” She advises Tommy half an hour later when he comes down stairs.

“They’re fighting already?” He asks knowing very well who the characters were. “How long have they been at it?” He continues inquiring while sitting beside her in the sofa facing the chimney.

“Around 30 minutes, maybe?” Felicity responds checking her phone to see what time it is.

“Well then I can predict they’ll be heading to the bedroom in about 10 minutes. That shit is like foreplay for those two” He says and even if his tone is playful she feels uneasiness around them.

The designated 10 minutes pass and a little bit later Oliver storms out of the kitchen with Laurel following him closely, they were still arguing but Felicity couldn’t distinguish a complete sentence, so she has no clue what was happening, what she did know though was that they went into Oliver’s bedroom and didn’t come out until lunch time.

Another thing she knew? She felt like crap that entire day. She silently hoped it had nothing to do with Oliver’s extracurricular activities with Laurel.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! So because you've been so good and funny at commenting yesterday's chapter and it might take some time to get the one following this one ready, I decided to get you this today, hope you're having a relaxing weekend. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this. Thanks for the comments and the kudos and the follows and basically the overall enthusiasm towards this story. And again all mistakes are my own.  
> \--

“Felicity this bachelorette party is happening so stop fighting me and start helping out alright?” The youngest Queen tells her as she lies on the sofa across from her while she works. It feels like a therapy session in more ways than one.

“I don’t want to have a party” She tries again knowing well that Thea won’t budge “If we do have a party, and again I’m telling you I would prefer if we didn’t, I don’t want a stripper or any of those very tacky things people come up with” Felicity explains knowing that not being on board for her own party was not something that would hold Thea down in any way. The Queen siblings were nothing if not persistent.

“You’re no fun. But fine I’ll cancel the stripper only if you agree to have a destination party” She negotiates cheerfully. But it’s not really a negotiation when the real problem is the party to being with.

“No way, we’re not going to Vegas. I’m from Vegas remember? I hate it, is everything I ran away from and there was good reason” Felicity points out with her eyes still focused on her computer screen.

“I know you Smoak; of course we’re not going to Vegas. Don’t underestimate me, it hurts my feelings” She says dramatically and Felicity can’t help but smile a little.

“OK fine, destination party is it” To which Thea cheers immediately so she continues “Just try your best for us not to get in a The Hangover type situation alright? I want to have all my teeth at the end of our little adventure”

“I’ll do my very best” She agrees with a wicked smile on her face, which doesn’t make Felicity feel very confident about her decision.

Her phone office rings unexpectedly and Felicity answers it on speaker distractedly.

“Yes Amber?”

“Miss Smoak, Mister Queen is here to see you. He says is important” Amber replies over the phone.

“Why is Oliver here?” Thea asks quietly so that Felicity could hear but Amber couldn’t.

“I have no idea” She mouths to Thea and she hopes to whatever entity there is that she believes her. “Tell him I’m very busy at the moment plus-“She begins telling Amber but then she hears her assistant steps approaching her office following another pair that positively belong to Oliver.

“Mister Queen” She hears Amber say but the steps don’t stop. Oliver is standing in her office door followed closely by very flushed Amber.

“I’m sorry Miss Smoak-“She begins apologizing and Felicity immediately dismisses her attempt.

“Not your fault, he’s just impossible. You can leave us alone” Amber retires and she can tell Oliver is about to say something that could possibly be very hard to explain to Thea, who’s still lying on the sofa where Oliver is unable to see her. She’s about to give him some sort of warning when Thea speaks up.

“Why the hell are you being so rude?” She asks standing up and walking towards him with her characteristic bratty personification.

“Speedy? What are you doing here?” He says clearly taken aback by her presence.

“We were supposed to have lunch and Felicity bailed because she had a lot of work, or so she says, so I brought some food and—Wait why I’m giving you an explanation? Why are you here?” She says and she is mad now, for real, like she senses something is off probably because Thea has a hidden super power that can sense a secret from a mile away.

“I-“Oliver tries but he ends up saying nothing.

“He’s coaching me for a business meeting with the investors tomorrow” Felicity adds before the silence could stretch even further.

“Right” Thea replies and it doesn’t seem like she buys it, but it doesn’t seem like she is untrusting either. “Well you should learn some manners, poor Amber doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Next time buy her coffee or some cronuts before you come in here” Thea suggest and then winks at him. “Anyway I was leaving so I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll talk to you later when the plans for the party are set” She tells Felicity and after kissing her brother goodbye she’s out the door.

“Remember our deal Thea!” Felicity yells as Thea heads out of the office laughing wickedly. “You cannot do that ever again. First of all Amber is not my guard keeper but if she says no, It means no Oliver, and second what would’ve happened if you said something about—and Thea was right here? We can’t do this. I have enough guilt as it is, you showing up here looks like we’re actually doing this, and we’re not” She lets every word out in a long breath, she knows her face must be red with anger, she hates when he is reckless and lately that’s precisely his M.O.

“I didn’t sleep with Laurel” He says softly after closing the door to her office and sitting across from her.

“What?” She asks all the more enraged.

“Sunday when you left us alone in the kitchen and then we went to my room…. We didn’t. I wouldn’t” He tries to explain but cuts his own words short.

“You should” Is all she says and he looks like he has been punched in the gut. Hard.

“Do you mean that? Do you really want me to sleep with her?” He asks in what could be described as the lowest tone of voice she has ever heard him use. And she hesitates between what she knows she should say and what she feels.

“No” She replies and she hates that she has to be honest right now. Why can’t she store her honesty for other things?

“I thought you were mad at me because of it and that’s why you wouldn’t see me. I’m sorry about Amber I’ll apologize” He tells regaining his usual tone of voice.

“Even if you did Oliver, I wouldn’t be mad. I can’t” She says and again the last part just slips. Because no she doesn’t want him to sleep with Laurel or anyone else for that matter, but she can’t very much sleep with him, be with him either. She’s being unfair to every single person in her life including, maybe, herself.

“Would you go out with me?” He says with a straight face, in moments like this she isn’t so sure he is mentally sane. Maybe that boating accident he was involved with during college was worse than what he led on.

“Oliver I’m with Tommy. I’m marrying Tommy in 31 days as the damn clock keeps reminding me. Why are you finding this so hard to process?” She asks and even if her words can be seen as mean she uses the gentlest tone she can. She doesn’t know if she’s trying to persuade _him_ or herself.

He runs a hand through his short hair and says “Call him tell him you have a dinner with the investors. Go out with me” He isn’t even pleading with her, he is serious and self-assured. She is stunned.

“What good with that do?” She asks because she doesn’t understand what the catch is. If he was accepting she was marrying his best friend why did he want this?

“Humor me” Oliver says again and then takes her phone from her desk throws in her passcode and dials Tommy’s number “Tell him” He finally says passing the phone to her.

And she does. She tells Tommy that she will be home late because she has to go to dinner with some investors and he replies something along the lines of “sure babe” and it’s over.

“I’ll pick you up here at 7” He says with a confident smile and leaves her there completely speechless.

What is she doing with her life?

It is 6:50pm which means she has 10 minutes to stop having a complete meltdown and do something about the fact that she has agreed, sort of, to go on a date with Oliver. She isn’t this girl, she hated this girl, she had disapproved of this girl countless times over the years when one of her girlfriends, mainly Eva, because that girl loved some drama, did this to whichever guy she was dating, dating! And here she is putting lipstick on in the bathroom at office for a date with a man that isn’t her fiancé.

Does it matter that she has been half in love with this man for what seemed like forever? Does it excuse somehow her unmoral behavior? She wants to think it does, but deep down she knows better. So she dos what’s right, she picks up her purse, shuts down her computer, says goodbye to Amber and runs to her car with every intention of going straight home, but because the universe hates her, sometimes, Oliver is leaning against her car wearing a knowing smile.

“I was prepared for this” He says cockily and she feels like he’s screaming _I know you_ right at her face “That’s why I came early and waited for you to try to bolt”

“This is a bad idea” She argues with intent, she is getting home to her fiancé, no matter how charming Oliver Queen can be.

“I’ve never had a better idea in my life” He tells her gesturing for her to follow him to his car, which she doesn’t. “Please Felicity, do this for me and I will forget this entirely if by the end of the night you still want that to happen”

“You’re being tricky Oliver and misleading and… This is not a good idea” She tells him still standing motionless beside her car.

“I want you. How the hell is that misleading?” He says in a louder tone than necessary and it’s obvious he isn’t in control for a second. Oliver Queen king of self-control, lately at least, is out of it. “Felicity, give me this night to try to change your mind and if… if later you decide that you don’t want for us to- I’ll never bring this up again” His demeanor changes in the last sentence, he is gentler than before, almost pleading.

“Fine” Later she’d tell herself that she had agreed just to get him off her back, but they both know better than to believe her.

\--

“Good thing I wasn’t trying to impress you” He says when they get to where their date was apparently going to be at. He opens the door for her and leads them to a very familiar booth, the one with the green lamp, it’s been year since she’s being in this place and it brings back a lot of memories for her, confusing memories about Oliver’s intentions, among other things.

After they are both seated across from each other, she says. “I met Tommy seating right here 5 years or so ago” She tells this him because it was insane for him to bring her here in the first place. Is he mocking her?

“You did” He says with a smile still plastered on his face. “But let me tell you a little secret about that night, I was sure we were going on a date you and I. And I said to myself this is it. This is the night you finally tell her how much you like her and then my best friend showed up and you were so incredibly enchanted by him that— I felt like a tool, but it was my bad, because I should have told you it was a date, I should have told him to leave us alone, and if I had done those things-“Regret is written all over his face, the words simply a supplement to what he was clearly feeling.  And if the hole in her stomach is any indication she’s feeling a little emotional herself.

“Stop” She says with a lump on her throat. “Don’t do this to yourself, there’s no changing the past and maybe it wouldn’t have worked out any way….”

“You don’t believe that” He says and it isn’t a question, his resolve it’s clear as day.

“It didn’t happen, so whatever reason it doesn’t matter anymore” Felicity tells him with a determination she doesn’t actually have.

“Tonight we give it another shot. Let's make this the first date we didn't get to have" Oliver smiles again and she is beginning to worry about his mental health. He knows this can't go anywhere because she has told him so and because he just knows. He knows they can't do this to Tommy, they’re playing around as if the last 5 years hadn't happen. What is the point in that? She doesn't understand what his thought process behind this is, unless the whole explanation is that Ollie is back and the head processing this isn't the one on top of his shoulders. 

"I don't know what you think this will do-" She begins trying to stablish once again her position on the matter, even if she did agree somehow to this date.

"Just play along then" He says smirking and calling the waiter, they order their drinks and 5 minutes later the waiter is back with a scotch on the rocks for him and very fine, very expensive red wine for her. "So now that you got your first big contract, how does that feel like?" Oliver asks and he seems completely relaxed by the whole situation. Small talk? That she can do. That is completely safe for everyone involved. 

"I feel like this is it, you know? Like the moment my career takes off and in a couple of years I will remember this as the happiest time in my life, like the moment I began building my future"  She tells him excitedly. This is a safe topic that could get her going for hours, exactly what she needs to get out of this unscratched.

About half an hour later and 2 drinks in, the conversation has turned into a walk down memory lane, it’s like there are two friends who hadn’t seen each other for a while and they’re recounting the same shared experiences over and over again, she is enjoying herself which isn't entirely a surprise because Oliver can be easy going and a great conversationalist when he wants to be one, she just expected this to be much more awkward, whatever he is planning this can't be it. It’s too safe, too normal. 

"Come on Oliver everyone knew you were hiding behind the bleachers with a girl that wasn't Laurel, I can't believe she never reacted to that" They were discussing one of their first college football games, he was on again with Laurel at the time, and they had gone to the game with a big group of people but Oliver had disappeared minutes in and had come back when they were just 5 minutes left on the clock. Laurel was doing that thing she liked to do so much back then that consisted on looking the other way whenever Oliver cheated on her or was involved in any kind of situation she didn't approve of. That night it was the mix of both considering that when he came back he was wasted out of his mind. 

The look on his face that was smiley and cheerful a second ago suddenly tenses a little. "It wasn't one of my finest moments" He says quietly. 

"You had a lot of those during that time" She adds, and she isn’t judging him for it, if he wanted to get it on with every girl that gave him the time of day that was more than fine, they were in college, if there was ever a time to go crazy it was then. What she didn't approve of or understand was why he didn't just break things up with his girlfriend while doing so. It was like he liked getting yell at for completely valid reasons. "I still don't get it" The words come out of her mouth and it isn't intentional but she resumes speaking any way "Like why would she go through that with you? Because whatever she thought that was it wasn't love on either part. Being with someone who constantly disrespects you and cheats on you, it isn't healthy and you- you weren't happy with it, either of you so why go back time and time again?" The wine was probably getting to her head, with only two glasses, that was very good wine right there. And a part of her feels a little bad to point this out at the moment considering the situation they’re both involved in, but as bad what they did is, and she knows it’s really bad, at least she feels bad, at least she’s aware of the wrongness of it all.

"There's no right answer to either of those questions" He says making a sign to the waiter to bring them another round. "And you're right it wasn't a healthy thing for either of us, but we were stuck and neither of us knew what else to do" He seems to really want the conversation to be over, but she can’t help but press on.

"Do you think she ever believed you when you told her you were done sleeping around? Not that she hoped it was true, but that she truly thought it was going to happen?" Felicity kept asking, she never understood and this was the first time she has allowed herself to ask all the things she wanted to know for so long. 

"I don't know" He says slowly. 

"I wouldn't have, I mean girls were constantly falling on your lap and your self-control was non-existent so why would you keep your promise? It didn't-" He finally gives her a look that conveys what he thinks about the turn their conversation has made very strongly, he is clenching his jaw tightly and his look is hard.  This wasn't fun for him anymore but instead of stopping, she kept going because, well just because she could. "-make sense. If she did believe you would it had to had been mostly wishful thinking on her part"

"What are you doing?" He says when he apparently can't take it anymore. “Why are you bringing this up now Felicity?" 

"No reason" She says casually, because it isn't like she planned to ambush him. 

"I'm not that guy anymore. I haven't been that guy for a while and-" He is starting to explaining himself to her when a high pitched voice interrupts him.

"Oliver Queen? I was sure that was you honey!" A beautiful brunette with a very impressive pair of long legs appears in front of their table and rushes to give Oliver a hug that is more... affectionate that necessary. It makes Felicity uncomfortable just to watch. 

"Hey there" He greets her clearly having no idea who this woman is. He has his Oliver Queen smile on, the one that he uses to make the masses believe he is a people person.

"You don't remember me? You're the worst Ollie" She says in a total playful tone, she doesn’t appear mind he doesn't remember her "I'm Cece Fuller. Well when we had our little rendezvous I wasn't a Fuller yet, not for a few hours" Oliver gives her a very fake smile, more uncomfortable than before and it looks like what he really wants is to make the women disappear into thin air. "And who is this lovely lady?" She says again in a tone so cheerful it couldn’t possibly be genuine.

"I'm Felicity" She says looking at the woman with a fake smile of her own. 

"Felicity? Oh you're Tommy's fiancé aren't you? I heard you were getting married at the Starling City Plaza, that's such a nice spot, that's were Max and I wanted to have our reception but we couldn't get the room for the day we wanted and then we had to settle for the country club instead" This woman knows who she is, who she is marrying and where and she has never seen her in her life. So that’s what happens when you got involved with big family names like Merlyn huh? Everyone knows all there is to known about you, or they at least think they do.

"That's a nice place too" Felicity says instead of what she really wants to say or do. She really sucks at making small talk especially with people she didn’t want to talk to in the first place. 

"Well it was so nice to see you Ollie and Felicity a pleasure to meet you darling" She says with that fake smile Felicity wants to slap off her face. 

"I'll see you around" Oliver says and it’s obviously the opposite of what he wants from his body posture.

"Don't let him get to you Felicity, he has a tendency to want to play house with others future brides" Cece says smiling brightly and leaving them alone at last. Her last comment is like a bucket full of iced water. She wasn't considering calling the wedding off but if she had been, well this wouldn't have helped her on keeping that decision. Remembering Oliver's playboy ways isn't something she is very fond of doing. She never had a right to be mad about it, but being in love with a man whore that on top of that is your best friend wasn't a very pleasant experience overall. 

"Felicity" He begins saying and he looks ashamed by everything that just happened. 

"I think we should go" She tells him before he can even try to explain a thing. Because really what was she thinking agreeing to this insanity? She has to stay the hell away from him, she knows what she wants, and what she should do and she knows what works, she’s always known and that’s not Oliver Queen and her. It never has been.

"Let me just-" He tries again.

"Oliver I'm not mad, I just want to go home" To my fiancé who I lied to, to come here she thinks full of shame. Whatever Oliver was trying to do has the complete opposite effect, because now she feels more sure than ever than this can’t happen.

And she’s taking her own advice and staying away from danger otherwise known as Oliver Queen and his persistent ways.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait... Here you go, hope you like it!

She’s getting ready on her bathroom mirror when he comes storming in and hugs her from behind. “We have to go now” He says and kisses her neck and she can’t help but shiver as his warm mouth kisses her weak spot.

“Tommy I can’t” She says for the umpteenth time this morning, he really has a problem listening to her when he doesn’t like what she’s saying. “I’m behind on work as it is and next weekend it’s the bachelorette party, the next one our wedding, then the honey moon, I’m going to be out of town a lot and I really need this weekend to get things sorted out” Her tone is serious and he’s grinning at her through the mirror as if he can get her to change her mind.

“I hate it when you get so responsible and ditch our fun plans” He says softly kissing her neck again. _Fun_ isn’t exactly how she would describe another weekend at the Queen’s.

She sighs because of the kiss, and also because she’s tired of having this conversation. “You go and have fun alright? And call me as soon as you get there so I know you got there safe” She turns around and kisses him on the lips soft and fast, before he gets the chance to distract her with one of his many talents.

“Fine” He pouts after stealing a few more kisses. “You can have this weekend to be a workaholic but I’m confiscating every gadget you own for the duration of our honeymoon” He says it in a serious tone and she almost believes him.

“You wouldn’t” She tries and he laughs mischievously.

“Have a nice one Smoak” He gives her a last kiss and he’s out the door a couple of seconds later.

She sighs deeply again, she needs a break. And yes she does have to work, and her reasons to stay home this weekend are as valid as they come, but she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she also needed to be away from Tommy for a few days.

The pressure of lying to his face is getting to her and after the horrendous night she shared with Oliver a few nights ago the hole in her stomach has gotten bigger. How on earth is she going to marry Tommy if she’s already trying to push him away? And he’s so clueless or trusting or well so Tommy that he doesn’t even second guess anything she says, the fact that she knows he would never doubt her makes her feel a million times worst.

She failed him, further than that she failed herself. She needs this weekend to try to get herself together, to see if she can live with the decisions she’s making, if she can start the rest of her life with him knowing she’s withholding information, very damaging information.

Felicity goes on with her plans for the day, she has a quick breakfast at home with a cup of very strong coffee and then heads to her office, she’s greeted by Amber who after a couple of hours brings her another coffee and time seems to fly by, she doesn’t even know how many hours have passed when her phone makes a noise indicating she has a new message. She’s thinking it might be Tommy telling her he already got to the summer house when she sees the name of the sender and her stomach drops.

_Give me one more chance. Pick you up at 6 at your place._

She feels the shiver all over her body, he stayed too. He stayed and he wants to see her. This weekend it’s about simplification, not complicating things further.

_That’s not an option._

_You want me to come get you now then?_

_I have something to tell you._

_So tell me then._

_I’m not telling you over a text._

_That’s all you get, take it or leave it._

_Don’t marry Tommy._

It doesn’t really surprise her; of course that’s what he wants to say. He wants her to not marry her fiancé, mainly because he came to the realization that he needs to have her instead. Oliver’s never been good at not winning, and he probably feels like a loser if she ends up getting married.

Oliver who used to be charming and loud and wild, Oliver who lost his father and became quiet and broody, who took charge of his family company even though it was the very last thing he wanted to do. Oliver who was always there for her, even when he didn’t know how to solve the problem, he always showed up and made her feel a bit better. Oliver who she always thought saw things in her no one else could see, Oliver who at the same time failed to see how in love with him she’d been.

Oliver who now wants her even though she can’t be his. Maybe because of it.

Whatever she did to be put in this kind of crossroads she wants to know, so she can be prepared next time, so she can avoid it all together. A few months ago she was clear about how her life was going to be, and she was happy, she didn’t want him anymore. It was too late now, because the price of having him wasn’t one she was willing to pay.

He was waiting for her when she got home and she made her best attempt to close the door on his face, but he was stronger and his conviction wasn’t lacking. He made his way inside and she stormed off to her bedroom, she needed space, from Tommy, from Oliver, from the responsibility of it all, from the guilt, she needed a break from it all, but life didn’t work that way.

“Felicity” He says and she can tell he’s standing right behind her door. She forgot what a driven Oliver looked like, and now the pressure of being at the other end of the chase was getting to her.

She sighs and opens the door slowly; it would be ridiculous to keep avoiding him when he’s already in the next room. Defeated she sits at the end of her bed and waits for him to say something.

Oliver paces the room for a few minutes before going over to where she’s sitting and taking a seat beside her. “Why are you avoiding me?” He says and his voice is low and vulnerable. She lets out a chuckle out of frustration; does he really need an answer to that one?

“Mainly because you’re trying to break my wedding up” And as soon as she answers they both now it’s not the whole truth. “I don’t like me very much lately Oliver, and being close to you just reminds me of that night and how completely wrong it was” now he’s the one to sigh in frustration.

His voice is still low but now she can sense a bit of anger in there too. “Are we back to the mistake thing? Because I thought we both agreed it wasn’t. We would never be a mistake Felicity, this thing? This has been building up since the moment I went into that classroom looking for you, without knowing I would find much more than a tutor or a friend” He tries to take a hold of her hands but she moves away from him instantly.

“We are not the only two people on the planet; it’s not just our emotions that matter here” She might be giving too much away just by pointing it out but she really needs him to understand her predicament, or better yet her choice in all this. “It might not have been a mistake because we both wanted it, but it was definitely wrong in every other way. I know that fidelity doesn’t mean much to you, but for me? It’s kind of a big deal” She’s speaking fast now and her loud voice is a minute away from making a stellar appearance.

The way he runs his hands through his face is enough to let her know his own voice is going to go to loud mode too. “That’s the thing isn’t it? You don’t believe I would make good boyfriend material? So you just decide to marry my best friend instead?” Her mouth drops involuntarily at his words.

She really could yell or make some other melodramatic statement, but she doesn’t, because she now knows how to get him to back off. Or she thinks she does at the very least.

“You’re acting like I owe you something, like I’m being irrational” She says quietly looking at him with as much calmness as she can muster at the moment. “I’ve been in a relationship for years, a good one at that, you know how long it took me to open up to him, to trust him enough to say yes to a date. Part of it was because I had a lot of trust issues and the other part was you, I had a huge crush on you, even when you weren’t at your best it didn’t discourage me or my feelings but I decided then that I couldn’t wait for you to notice me and to become the man I knew you were going to be. So I decided to live my life and be your friend and move on from my college crush” She swallows hard because her words are coming too fast and suddenly she doesn’t know if this conversation is a good idea anymore. “I know your life hasn’t been as easy since your dad died, I know the responsibility is overwhelming, I know some days you want to run far away from this city and from being Oliver Queen. I know you can be great at anything you choose to do, because you’re not careless anymore, you’re focused and committed. I’m so proud of you Oliver, you really have no idea how much I admire the way you deal with the things life throws your way” She’s silent for a second and he chooses that moment to move a little and turn to his side so he can face her completely.

“So much for not wanting to talk to me” He says to lighten the mood but she doesn’t give him a smile, not even one of out of courtesy.

“But I’m not a business deal or a property you can own. I’m my own person, I make my own decisions and I’m asking for you to let this go” She would cry but the part of her that knows that this is for the best doesn’t let her. “I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance, I’m sure it would have been a ride but I’m not looking for that anymore”

“Felicity listen to me… what I wanted to tell you before? It wasn’t about the wedding, not really” He says and her heart its beating really fast, all she wanted was for him to back off but what she sees in his eyes is not him doing the backing she wished for. “I love you” Oliver’s voice is deep and meaningful and his eyes are full of adoration that much she can tell before the tears she had been keeping at bay finally come down. He quietly runs his thumbs over her cheeks and stops the succession of tears, they keep coming anyway.

He doesn’t push for an answer, he also doesn’t leave, he doesn’t stop touching her cheeks and later on her waist as he pushes her closer and then he takes one hand in his and the other is back at her face and before she can have a rational reaction, before she can think about how much she should stop him, she doesn’t.

His lips are on hers and she thought it would be passionate and desperate and very much something similar to the last time they kissed on the night their relationship finally changed, but it isn’t. He’s being careful and every nerve ending in her body wants him to stop teasing her and give her more, to let the lust take control, to go further faster before her brain finally comes on and she stops him all together.

Oliver doesn’t rush, his gentleness and the way he softly brushes his fingers through the bare skin on her waist are going to be the end of her. It’s driving her mad and she’s about to protest to do something, pull him closer, bite him something that would speed things up when he stops completely and pushes her away just a few inches. They’re so close that there’s no way she can avoid his deep blue eyes, or the look of complete fascination they reveal. “You think I’m in lust with you” He says and his voice is raspy and affected, she doesn’t even try to deny it, she also thinks she might be in lust with him too. “It’s not about that Felicity” He says running a thumb through her cheek and rubbing it softly “And yes I’m being irrational and I know we aren’t the only people on the world although in moments like this it feels like it” Oliver pauses and she has to breathe deeply to get her anxiety in check, to avoid running. “I’ve been thinking about this exhaustively, every second from the moment I woke up alone in your bed. I’m aware of the gigantic mess we’re in and frankly? It doesn’t matter to me, I don’t care how many difficult conversations I have to have with every person in my life, getting a chance at being with you makes it all bearable, it makes it all worth it” He finally mutters as soft as a whisper and with a small and nervous smile.

His eyes are searching hers, for answers, for certainty, for something that shows him that he’s not alone in what he’s feeling. In any other circumstance she would do just that, after all she’s been reassuring Oliver Queen for what feels like a lifetime, about school and later on work, about family, about how he could do everything he put effort into, she had been standing beside him in the best and worst, and for maybe the first time a reassuring word was not the first thing that left her lips.

“I think you should go now” She says and it sounds foreign to her own ears.

He chuckles frustrated and stands up but doesn’t walk toward the door, instead he paces the room for a few seconds before looking back at her with fire in his eyes. “You wanted me to keep going” It’s an accusation and she feels the weight of it on her chest. “If I hadn’t pulled away we could have-“He negates forcefully and instead of finishing he begins to voice another thought “I need you to acknowledge that it’s not just me Felicity…. Just please” His voice is breaking and so it’s the erratic beating thing on her chest.

She can’t really give him what he wants, maybe because she doesn’t allow herself to want it too. But she can give him this much. “It’s not just you, it’s never been just you… if anything it was just me at some point” Felicity admits in a broken voice.

Oliver eyes come back to her as her words clear the frown on his face. “It wasn’t” He says and for a moment she believes she’s imagining things. “It was never just you either. I just didn’t let myself see it for some time” This should change something in her, this should open up some willingness to fight for them but timing works in mysterious ways.

“The point is Oliver, it’s not just you feeling this pull” He’s about to come back to seat beside her when she stands up and motions for him to let her finish. “It is just you willing to throw everything else away though, I told you from the get go that I couldn’t be this person, and for whatever reason you choose not to listen to me then, I’m begging you to listen to me now. Please Oliver, please let it be” He’s already closing the distance between them standing closer, almost touching her when she moves back instinctively. “Maybe someday we can be friends again” She says and it’s one of the saddest things she has ever heard herself say.

“Okay” He says after a few seconds of silence and surprise doesn’t begin to cover her reaction when she hears him. “I told you once I would do my best to make things easier for you, and I know me pushing is making it hard, so I’ll stop pushing. It’s your life and it’s your choice” Her cheeks feel wet again and she knows she started crying as soon as the first word left his mouth.

“Thank you” She tells him and unconsciously moves forward to press her hand to his forearm. He almost jumps at her touch and she knows it wasn’t the right move to make, even something as innocent as this can make then both unstable. He nods and gives her a last look before taking her hand away from his arm and walking toward the door, he hesitates for a moment she can see it on his walk but then whatever he thought of doing passes and he leaves her standing in the middle of her bedroom all alone, all she can hear it’s the tick-tack of the wedding countdown clock from hell.

_14 days 2 hours 30 minutes and 6 seconds till your wedding day._

_\--_

She wakes up the next morning and as she begins to come back from her slumber she hears some sound coming from her kitchen, she glances at the clock, _her real one_ , and sees its only 7 am. She wouldn’t be awake on her own this early on a Sunday so whatever is happening at her kitchen is definitely the reason of her restlessness.

Felicity looks for a baseball bat that Tommy stored in her closet once claiming she would need it if something where to happen and he wasn’t there, they both knew he would need it more. So that’s how she ends up standing in her kitchen in her pajamas and a baseball bat and what she sees is very much as crazy as her current state.

He’s standing in her kitchen cooking, or better yet attempting to cook what appears to be pancakes, he has flour in his face and some on his hair and she can’t help but laugh out loud. He turns and gives her a wide grin.

“Good morning to my beautiful bride to be” He says as he comes closer and gives her a peck on the lips. “I missed you so much I drove home early” Tommy tells her while going back to the _cooking_.

She glances at his attempts at food making and quickly texts the girl at the café around the corner to get them both some eatable breakfast. “You really must have missed me if you’re trying to do that” She says pointing to the mix he’s making.

Tommy smiles again. “You always said you wanted a man who could cook so I decided to give it a shot” He’s being so earnest she laughs. “By the way I told you might need that bat someday”

“Someday apparently came when my boyfriend decided to show up at my door at a terrible time, when I was sleeping as one does on Sunday morning” She comments trying to be funny but also trying to get some answers from him.

The doorbell rings signalizing the arrival of their actual breakfast. She opens the door thanks the delivery guy, pays him and heads back to the kitchen were he's still trying to make something this time in a pan. "Actual food is here" she says teasing him and he turns around and glances at her and the bag she's holding. He smiles but its forced which she doesn't quite understand.  
  
"You didn't believe I could pull this off" he says and it's far more serious than what the situation calls for.  
  
"You know I love you for even trying" she tells him light hearted as she makes her way towards the kitchen table and sets everything into place. When the food is already served she walks up to him and hugs him from behind. Something is not right. "What's wrong?" She says softly Tommy immediately stills so she turns him around and he lets her.  
  
"Nothing's wrong" he says and it's very obvious that it isn't true, she might still be a little sleepy but she knows Tommy showing up at her apartment at 7 am on a Sunday when he was at the Queens for the weekend isn't right. At what time did he wake up to make it there? Was he even-- she had questions, lots of them.  
  
She looks at him but when he still doesn't say anything, she tells him "that's not your nothing's wrong face Tommy" she wants him to tell her but she also doesn't want to push him.  
  
"I missed you, and I'm sorry I took off yesterday" he says as if that's any kind of explanation.  
  
"You're making it sound like you abandoned me, and that's ridiculous" she responds pinching his cheek like he's a small child and he laughs softly.  
  
He smiles and gives her a complicated look, like he's trying to crack something after a while he says "I would never do that, abandon you I mean"  
  
She knows she's making a confused face because she really doesn't understand this conversation and her face always gives her away. "Of course you wouldn't dummy" she goes for playful because otherwise this might turn heavy and she can't do heavy with him right now.  
  
Tommy kisses her forehead and then they sit down and eat their breakfast all the weird vibe forgotten. The rest of their day goes by in a similar way, they eat, they talk, they watch tv cuddled up in the sofa. And when he tells her he will sleep at his place tonight she doesn't ask him to stay.  
  
The last thought she has before falling asleep on her bed that night is I _should_ want him to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

  
"Working out your guy troubles I see" says the voice of her blonde friend from behind her. She decided to hit the gym bright and early today, her weekend that she had intended to be about simplification ended up being the opposite, she had a bit of closure with Oliver and a lot of weirdness with Tommy, her guilt hadn't disappeared in the least but being self-deprecating was the least of her problems. She need it to sweat it out, as least that was sure to help her head stay in the game.  
  
She stopped her treadmill after the designated 45 minutes and went to meet Sara. "I don't have guy troubles, I do have Felicity troubles though" she admits as she uses her towel to clear her forehead.  
  
"Being here is a good starting point then" she says with a smile, Sara hasn't yet told her she's the worst because of what happened with Oliver, she also hasn't told her to tell Tommy the truth or cancel the wedding, in fact she hasn't pressured her or judged her in any way and because of all of it she feels like Sara’s the only person she can breathe with. "And that's the way it goes blondie, everything is a you problem it just happens that sometimes other people are involved"  
  
She sighs, she would tell Sara about her weekend but this is one case where she doesn't feel like talking about it would help much. "You think you can arrange it so that Thea doesn't go completely off board with the party planning for this weekend?" It's not her main worry but it’s definitely on the list somewhere.  
  
"I'm on it, but I won't make any promises" she says laughing.

She smiles slightly too thinking about Thea Queen and her antics, the passion she shows for the people she loves, and the true kind hearted person she doesn’t want people to know she is. “I don’t think anyone can make any promises where she’s concerned” She agrees.

They make their way to the dressing room and after a while Sara says in a thoughtful tone “She’s so excited about the wedding and the bachelorette and the whole thing about you being sisters” It’s almost as if she’s thinking out loud for a second, Felicity just nods, understanding what she means. “You don’t have to go through with it though” She tells her finally with a powerful look, this is Sara being supportive; it’s her saying _hey whatever makes you happy_.

She sighs heavily, she shouldn’t have though, she should have said _of course I’m going through with it I loveee him._ And yes she does love him, and that’s the thing she doesn’t understand, that she had never understood, if you claim to love someone if you feel it so intensely how can things like cheating happen? How can you decide to betray every second you spent together for sex? Her mother always told her that you can never judge a person if you haven’t been in his shoes, and finally at least in this subject she understands what it really means.

She did it, she cheated and it wasn’t because her relationship was having a rough patch, it wasn’t because she didn’t love Tommy, it wasn’t because there was something missing…. Why was it then? That was the question she was most afraid of answering, even to herself.

“I know” She says to Sara who can probably sense that she’s just saying it to say something. She does know it; she just doesn’t think she’ll be able to back away now, too much at stake, too many variables.

\--

“I talked to my dad today” He tells her as he gets out of the shower wearing only boxer shorts and running a towel through his damp hair. She waits to see if he has something else to add because Malcom is not an easy subject. “He wants to come to the wedding” He explains and his voice its conflicted, he sighs as he sits beside her on his unmade bed.

She runs a hand through his back softly, trying to support him somehow. “If you don’t want him there, say no” She says because she knows how hard it is for him to handle his father most times. “Better yet I’ll tell him no and that’s that”

He smiles but it’s filled with sadness. “I guess we’re a fatherless bunch huh?” They usually avoid the father talk, because he doesn’t like his and she doesn’t remember much of hers.

Felicity kisses his cheek softly. “Tommy he hurt you, he made lots of mistakes and his character is questionable to say the least… You don’t have to forgive him or want him there, but if you do, I will support you” That’s all she wants to do really, be there for him, make it better.

“I’ll think about it. I was going to bring this up to Thea when we went for lunch this afternoon but I knew what her reaction would be, she hates his guts” His sarcastic chuckle makes her want to punch Malcom Merlyn hard. How can a father ever make his own child feel so lonely and unloved? She knows a thing or two about abandonment issues, and Tommy’s are clearly still very present, even if his father is no longer gone. “Our lunch was weird by the way, we went to table salt because you know Thea loves fancy things and apparently the new chef is Starling’s own Gordon Ramsay”

She smiles softly at Thea’s antics. “That doesn’t sound weird at all”

Tommy nods “I don’t even know if we could consider it weird given that we all knew it was going to happen but… Oliver was there with Laurel” He’s being nonchalant about it and she tries hard to keep her reaction on par with his mood.

“Really?” She asks him with the sufficient amount of interest one would have on their best friend relationship drama. In reality she has some questions, none of which she can voice, especially to Tommy.

“When we went to say hello Oliver looked like we caught him with a hand in the cookie jar, his reaction was ridiculous almost funny” He doesn’t smile or joke about it, which she founds weirder still than Oliver’s apparent reaction to seeing them.

She doesn’t know what else to say, Oliver confessed his love for her and proceed to go back to Laurel? She can’t be mad about it really, and she isn’t for the most part, she’s not jealous or angry but she also doesn’t want to discuss this thing with Tommy, but she keeps the conversation going for his sake. “What about Laurel? Was she equally weird about it?”

“I’m not a good Laurel reader, but she seemed more relaxed than he was anyway” He says and again he makes it sound offhanded but she knows he too has an observation he doesn’t want to share with her. And it dawns on her that she isn’t questioning him further because she’s afraid he would question her back, and unlike him she does have a few sins that could come up anytime now.

Felicity is about to say something, anything to change the subject when Tommy’s cellphone rings and he answers it distractedly. He looks tired as he mouths _work thing_ and goes to the next room to talk.

_Saved by the bell._

\--

“I can take you to the airport babe” He says for the millionth time as she finally shut her suit case and begins putting her shoes on.

She blinks at him exasperated. “You have to be at Oliver’s in 20 minutes, you don’t have the time”

He smirks at her “Yeah there’s been a change of plans, we’re actually meeting at my house in 45 so you see I could easily-“

“Thea’s picking me up” Felicity tells him _again_.

“She’s not going to be here on time and you’re going to lose your flight” He warns her knowingly.

Felicity sighs maybe Tommy’s right and she’s about to tell him exactly that when a familiar beeping sounds outside and she looks out the window to see Thea’s car parked in front of her apartment. “She’s here” She tells him with a winning smile and he laughs.

“A miracle” He tells her and then goes and kisses her for good measure. “Go have fun with the girls, and remember to use protection” He’s joking of course but a pang of guilt goes through her for a second. “I promise I’ll do the same” Tommy winks and she smiles pushing back her previous thoughts and kissing him again.

“Behave” She says before opening the door and heading downstairs.

“Love you too” She hears him say as she gets inside the elevator.

She sighs, she forgot about that. Telling him she loves him is a habit, she does it naturally like saying hello or goodbye but today she forgot, and she doesn’t have time to analyze the whole thing because when she gets to the car and opens the door to complain about Thea’s scheduling issues she looks at the person driving the car and her stomach falls.

She’s about to walk away instinctively when he says “This wasn’t my idea, I promise” Something in his tone makes her believe him, she also knows she doesn’t have a lot of options, Tommy is probably in the shower right now and her car is at the auto shop, a cab would take too long to get there… riding with Oliver is it.

She pushes her small suitcase in the back seat and proceeds to seat beside him closing the door with more force than necessary. “Where’s she?” She asks looking straight ahead.

“She said she had a last minute thing and took my car, also told me to pick you up” He explains with a forced tone. She can hear in his voice that he’s clenching his jaw tightly. There’s a long silence obviously neither of them knows what to say, and she finds it ludicrous that they ended up in this situation in the first place. She would even think this a Thea set up, expect for the fact that Thea would never support her unfaithfulness.

She turns the radio on to make the silence less tense and then a familiar song comes on and Oliver huffs beside her. She knows the song, and she remembers why is important but it’s a surprise to see he also remembers it.

There was a time when Oliver Queen was trying to win her back, it was a friendship thing, he had done something she now doesn’t remember but at the time it was a big deal, enough for her to stop talking to him for a few weeks, one of the things he did to lessen her anger was make her a mixtape, it was cheesy and she found it very old school considering you could have any song you wanted on your phone with a few swipes of your finger, having to enter a cd on a computer was out dated and went against most of her technological ideals but she couldn’t help but give it a listen when he left her at her dorm one night.

She was curious and he didn’t make a song listing so she had to go through it to know what was in it. A lot of 80s music came on, apparently Oliver had a thing for Bon Jovi and The Rolling Stones, this particular song though wasn’t by either of them, she had heard it before but this time it became an instant favorite, the song was number 7, the Jewish number for creation and good fortune, her favorite number if that was even a thing.

Tom Petty sings about good girls and broken hearts and Oliver proceeds to shut the radio off on a strong motion. She laughs at his sudden desperation, she doesn’t mean to but it just comes out that way. On the next red light he looks at her with exasperation.

“Hilarious” He tells her and his attitude is all but gentle.

“That was my favorite” She argues when he doesn’t add anything else.

“I know that much Felicity” He says like it doesn’t need clarification. “I shouldn’t have come” Oliver continues a little bit later. “I should have called Sara or even Tommy”

“Why didn’t you then?” She’s getting tired of his bad mood, she doesn’t like the situation much either, but he’s acting like this is torture.

“I can’t seem to pass up a moment alone with you” He answers lowly.

She wants to tell him he should, he should pass them up. She also wants to ask about Laurel and their lunch date, and how he is doing and what are his plans for tonight. She wants to know about his day but she can’t seem to get herself to ask a thing.

“If Thea’s eagerness is anything to go by you should be worried of what she has prepared for this weekend” He tells her later in a more friendly tone.

“You really want to talk about Thea?” She asks because of all of the things she had been thinking he would say that was not on the list.

“You rather talk about this?” He asks gesturing between them. “Because I’m pretty sure you told me to drop it several times” His tone isn’t loaded this time, he seems almost unaffected.

She sighs as he steals a glance at her before his eyes go back to the road. “Can we go back to before this was tense and complicated?” She asks in a tired tone.

“Felicity” He says when they reach another red light and he can look at her properly, he seems to have a lot to say if his eyes are anything to go by, but after a few seconds he does that sigh thing that he follows with a tight smile. “We’ll get better at this, I promise” She can almost swear on her life that that’s wasn’t what he was about to say for a second there, but she knows it’s probably better for both of them.

She just nods and goes back to staring out the window as they make their way to the airport. When they get there he stops the car on the designated area and takes her suitcase out of the back seat. They stand looking at each other for a few seconds neither of them knowing how it’s supposed to go, hesitantly she gives him a quick hug and says “Thank you”

He smiles a real smile this time “Always” He doesn’t tell her to have fun or stay safe, he doesn’t say much of anything in the terms of words, but she knows what that look means and she knows everything he’s trying really hard no to tell her. He’s always going to be there for her, and her heart breaks a little bit knowing that their time has passed.

\--

“Why are you not having fun Smoak? All this” She tells her gesturing around then “is for you, you’re supposed to let loose and have fun, say goodbye to the good life because after you marry my brother, well it’s over” Thea says her holding her around the waist in a wobbly hold.

“Thea I made a mistake” Felicity says with a lump in her throat. She had been thinking about it the whole trip, they were in LA, Thea had arranged a fabulous party in The Beverly Hotel, and they had an amazing suite overlooking the pool area. It was perfect, it wasn’t obvious, it wasn’t too much, it was perfect. But even then Felicity couldn’t relax, her mind was all over the place, in a week she would be married to Tommy and she loved him dearly, she was excited with the idea of beginning a life together, Tommy was the guy she didn’t expect to fall for, he was goofy, laid back, not too ambitious but not too careless either. Tommy Merlyn was a bit of everything, he had the balance thing worked out, and knowing all of that she still couldn’t get Thea’s other brother out of her mind.

“What are you talking about?” The younger Queen asks turning her over so that she can take a good look at her face, Felicity’s about to cry and suddenly Thea’s usual playful behavior is gone. She takes her by the hand and leads her to the balcony closing the door behind them. “Felicity, I was kidding your life with Tommy is going to be amazing it won’t-“

“I cheated on him” She says and it’s like a thousand pounds were suddenly off her back. The guilt she had been carrying around was still there, very palpable, but at least she was being honest with someone.

“You did what?” After she says the words she’s left speechless for a while. She searches her face for an explanation but Felicity is frozen in place. Telling Thea meant Tommy would find out sooner rather than later, but wasn’t that the intention to being with?

“Two month ago… The night of Oliver’s birthday party….” She can’t finish her sentence because the sobbing’s getting in the way. Thea just stares at her wide eyed and paralyzed. “Tommy was very drunk so I took him to his place and then I realized I had left my purse at the party so I went back for it and….” She speaks very quickly trying to stop the weeping as much as she can.

“Felicity…” Thea begins and it’s clear that she doesn’t know what to say. “I can’t believe-“

“I slept with him because- because he said something I didn’t expect. I wouldn’t have done it if it was any other guy but him—I just can’t” She’s trying to make as much sense as possible but it’s very probable that it isn’t working because Thea just frowns at her, astounded. “I haven’t told him, and he probably won’t forgive me once he finds out and he’s right no to, I just- I thought that I could do it, like get it out of my system so I didn’t have to image what if, I thought I could and that would be it-“

“But it wasn’t?” Thea finally finds words but she still isn’t screaming at her, so she probably hadn’t gotten to understanding the situation for what it’s yet.

“I don’t know” She says bawling her eyes out. They stand like that for what felt like forever, Thea staring sightlessly at the horizon and Felicity almost choking on her tears. After a couple of minutes the crying slows down until it stops completely and the younger woman takes her eyes back to Felicity with new found awareness in them.

“You can’t tell him” Thea says with a low voice. “Tommy is a great guy, but I don’t think he’ll be able to get past this”

“Thea… If I don’t-“

“Listen to me, if you want to marry Tommy, you’ll have to keep this from him and you’ll have to promise me that it won’t ever happen again. Ok? It can’t. He doesn’t deserve that” She says in a very controlled voice that feels so inadequate given the circumstances.

“Beginning our marriage with a lie this big… It feels like a bad idea” Felicity says and she knew it sounded ridiculous but she didn’t believe in lying and this was the first time in their relationship that she had managed to keep something from him. It doesn’t feel like a good starting point for any type of commitment, much less a marriage.

“Do you regret it?” She asks clearly scared of the answer. Felicity doesn’t respond she’s trying her best to come up with an answer but she can’t say what she knows she should, so she keeps quiet. “We should get back to the party” Is all Thea says after giving her a hard look and entering the balcony doors. She’s disappointed that much is obvious, but everything else just seemed so out of character that Felicity can’t believe she let the subject go that easily.

She feels like she just confessed to murder and judge won’t prosecute her even if she knows she’s guilty.

\--

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

He enters the room and the lack of movement starlets him, the place should be hectic with people running around, Thea yelling something or other to the party planner, and instead he finds Tommy sinking into the blue sofa on the living area alone.

“She called it off” He says his eyes puffy and red, the shadow of a beard showing as clearly as his sleep deprivation. Oliver does a double take most likely eying Tommy incredulously. He expected to feel a lot of things, _when_ , **if** this ever happened, he expected the relief that comes from getting what you want or the guilt that comes with seeing your best friend miserable and knowing you had something to do with it, he expected a lot of things but this hollowness wasn’t one of them. “She came back from her trip told me she was sorry, she gave me back the ring and said she couldn’t marry me and then she was out” Tommy tells him like he’s just reciting the words that have been running through his head for the past few hours. He takes the glass on the side table and drinks its contents in one big gulp, when he puts it back it makes a loud sound and he sighs heavily. “What the hell is happening? She’s not the girl that runs away, she loves me, I know that much so I don’t- Where is she Oliver? And what the hell happened on that trip?” His words are a mess but the conviction in them when he says _‘she loves me I know that much’_ is what makes Oliver’s heart fall to his stomach, hollowness and a little bit of pain.

Oliver paces the room, he doesn’t know where to begin, telling Tommy is only going to make everything worse, and for what he could tell Felicity didn’t say anything about even the remote possibility of another person getting between them. Plus his best friend is so fucking sure of the love she has for him that it’s making him sick. He slept with her because he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. He is so completely, hopelessly in love and… so is Tommy. This is the part Felicity had been warning him about _we are not the only two people on the planet,_ No there were not, in fact right about now they weren’t even two people, she was gone.

“Oliver?” Tommy shouts after a few minutes of silence. “I can see you’re shocked about this but don’t you have something to say at least?” For a moment he feels threated like Tommy knows the truth like his newfound guilt is visible for all to see.

He is opening his mouth to say something, he isn’t sure what exactly yet, anything that would take the questioning look out of Tommy’s eyes he supposes, and then his sister rushes into the room with a conviction he’s often scared of, she looks worse than Tommy himself.

“You and I need to talk” She says to him and before he can let so much as a word out she is pushing him out the room and leading him in strong pushes around the house towards the back yard. She keeps walking until they reached the greenhouse where Tommy’s mom used to grow her roses. Now it’s mostly used by the gardeners, it lost the warm and care of a woman long ago.

Fearing Thea is not a new feeling for him, when they were children her sister would lay the blame on him for every single thing that was broken or out of place at their home, and as they grew things just got worse and worse, leading to the magnificent incident in which he was blamed for wrecking his father’s yacht when it was indeed Thea and her friends that had done everything short of sinking the damn thing. He is well acquainted to Thea’s rage but this is different.  

“Where is she?” As soon as the words are out of her mouth he breathes, of course his sister would think he knows where Felicity is. She is his best friend, he knows everything about her, and it wouldn’t be weird to know this too.

“I had no idea she was gone until half an hour ago when I got here and talked to Tommy” He says honestly, scratching his neck roughly in the process. Thea gives him a look that he can’t place, but he’s sure that isn’t the answer she wanted so he continues. “Honestly Thea, Felicity didn’t tell me she was going to do this…” He trails off because what would have done if she had? He was mostly certain that he wouldn’t have made her come back, would he had gone with her instead? His mind is running on over drive. He is shocked but there’s a little thrill about it, in the end it all comes down to him feeling like shit, because either way she’s not with him in any way.

“I thought Ollie was gone” She tells him with a softness that doesn’t go with her current facial expression “I believed the party boy, the reckless thoughtless you had left, but here you are lying to my face making your best friend go through hell, making _her_ be this person we all know she isn’t. What for _Ollie_? So you can finally add her to you fucking conquest list?” Her tone growing considerably angrier as the words slip out, the fire on her eyes is back and there are also hints of disappointment shining through them.

He feels cold all of the sudden, firstly because Thea knows, secondly because she still thought he was capable of wrecking everything that was dear to the people around him just for the kick of it. There are a million responses running through his mind, he wants to know how she knew, he wants her to take back all the awful things she just said, he wants to see her change her disapproving look and then… he realizes that almost everything she said is true. He had made an awful mess, and… It is definitely all his damn fault.

“I love her” Is all that comes out instead. And it sounds broken and defeated and it’s the perfect sum of him at the moment.

“Oh please Oliver, please don’t give me that as an excuse for this mess” Thea disregards him immediately.

“You truly think I would sleep with her just to—just because I hadn’t before? Just because I could?” It is his turn to be angry, everything else he could understand, he had made many mistakes in his past, he still made them on a regular basis, but Felicity? No matter how much damage he ended up doing, he would never consider her a mistake and he would never take that night back. “I’m sorry you think this is a mistake Thea, I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you or something but- I love her and I didn’t know I could have her okay? I didn’t know” There are tears threating to come out, but he is going to take to keep them in as long as he can.

“Okay, okay” She says and it isn’t her agreeing with him precisely but it is her trying to get a handle on the subject for sure. “You have to call her and step away Oliver. You can’t let her make this decision on her own, you have to tell her it was a mistake and you—“

“I won’t” He tells her with resolve.

“She is going to regret not marrying Tommy, she loves him! And he adores her, how is that not the perfect thing? Felicity had a slip up, but she promised me she wouldn’t do it again, she said it was a get it out of her system kind of thing, she said that-“He interrupts her instantly not being able to hear her any more.

“She didn’t” He fights back with confidence, Thea looks at him with her brow furrowed “Get me out of her system I mean and honestly I’m having trouble believing she even said that to you”

Thea looks at him wide eyed “At first I wasn’t sure she was talking about you… but then she said something, I can’t remember exactly what it was that made me realize that you were probably the only person who had a pull strong enough to get her to…” She trails off looking away from him.

“I already tried calling her. I’ve been trying for days in fact and… she doesn’t want to talk to me” He admits frustrated. Thea seems to think that he is agreeing with her, so he explains further. “If she did answer though, if I could talk to her? I wouldn’t tell her to come back and marry him”

“You are a selfish bastard; you’re messing up the lives of the people you claim to love. That’s not how love is supposed to work” She is already crying when the last part comes out of her lips. Thea has been through so much through the years, losing their father, rebelling against their mother, finding out eventually that she was a Merlyn and not a Queen. She has endured so much for such a young girl, and he feels bad for inadvertently making her part of this mess, deep down he wants to shield her from every wrong turn their lives had taken but he can’t. And he can’t lie to her any more under the false pretense of protecting her.

“Love is messy, and sometimes you don’t see it right away, you mistake it for something else and… you get lost believing it’s never going to happen for you, you get comfortable in shallow relationships, a lot can occur and it does and then, if you’re lucky you get this moment of clarity when it clicks, you see it and… These last few months I’ve been replaying my entire life with her on my head, and I saw a lot of things I missed the first time around. She loved me for years and I was so damn distracted with the wrong things, I blew it as I do” He has to pause because his voice is breaking, this is the first time he is talking about his side of the story with anyone, Thea is crying silently but this time he knew it isn’t just her anger towards him coming to the surface. “I’m probably never getting the girl, but I can’t talk her into marrying Tommy to clear my conscience when I’m sure she’s going to regret it sooner rather than later”

“How selfless of you” She says with clear sarcasm, she’s clearing the tears from her eyes furiously because the Queens can’t be weak much less cry in public. “I might hate you for this for a long time” Thea announces after a few minutes of silence finally looking back at him.

“I know… and if you feel the need to tell Tommy, I understand” Oliver recognizes running his hand through his hair without conviction.

“It’s not my place to break his heart any further” She tells him finally, glancing around for the last time before letting him all alone in the forgotten green house.

He has spent an awful amount of time thinking about his decisions lately, about the path those decisions had taken him on and he liked his life, he liked being able to feel accomplished with the work he did. He feels good to make QC better, to expand their business, to make his father proud somehow. He is glad he decided to change his ways, to be more careful with business and life in general. There are lots of things he might have done different given the chance, his relationship with Laurel was one of them, his fights with her mom back when he didn’t understand the responsibility of being Oliver Queen, they were things he would have done differently, but his biggest regret, his only real regret was never having the balls to tell Felicity Smoak how he felt about her from the get go.

A part of him knows he had her and lost her in the blink of an eye and that is probably the worst outcome of any decision he has ever made.

\--

“Mr. Queen there’s someone here to see you” His assistant tells him through the phone he glances towards the glass doors but all he can see from there are a pair of red heels. For a second a part of him feels electricity going through him, just the thought that they could be “I told her she doesn’t have an appointment” she continues and Oliver keeps staring at the heels, his heart beating fast.

His voice comes out forced and rough as he says “Let her in”

A few seconds later his door opens and when he finally looks at the owner of the red heels he feels complete disappointment. It was just wishful thinking on his part, believing Felicity would walk into his office a week after dropping out the face of the earth, for no good reason.

“Hey” He tells her trying his best to hide his sentiment.

She smiles, and he thinks it could be a knowing smile, but that is certainly not possible. There’s no way she could figure out he thought he was her. “You look like hell” He’s been getting a lot of that for the past few days; he’s not even surprised anymore.

“I’ve been better” He agrees knowing that he isn’t giving too much away by admitting he misses her.

She seats across from him and hesitates a second before getting the words out “I have something to ask you but I really don’t want you to feel judged okay?” When that’s the opening statement of one of the head lawyers at the city’s attorney’s office you know you’re in trouble.

“Laurel you can ask me anything, I think we have already stablished this” He tells her just to fill the time before she asks the question.

“Did you have something to do with her decision to call it off?” He isn’t surprised she’s here for this, in fact they have been dancing around the subject for some time know, she came very close to a similar question the last time they had lunch together.

Oliver doesn’t really know how to respond to that question, because if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even know if he was a factor on her decision or not. He thinks he might have been, but then why run away? Why not answer his calls? He understands that she might need time but ignoring him completely? That just hurts.

“Oliver?” Laurel asks again looking for an answer.

He sighs “I did ask her not to go through with it... but she never agreed to it. Whenever she decided she wasn’t getting married, I didn’t even get a text about it” He admits and he feels a little better having it out in the open even if he’s confessing to Laurel and not Tommy.

“Maybe it’s for the best” She answers and he has to look at her closely to see if she’s being ironic in some way, but after a while he’s sure she isn’t. “Don’t look at me that way; if she had the guts to leave him it was better for everyone for it to be before the wedding and not during or after”

He understands her reasoning, but her calmness, the way she isn’t really giving him crap about it or asking for more explanations is disconcerting. It’s very un-Laurel-like not to be defending the underdog, which in this case might be Tommy.

“I never thought I could tell you that and not receive a punch or long speech about what a crappy person I am” He tells her probably looking for trouble.

She smiles condescendingly. “Oliver, you’re not the same guy you were when we were together, that guy didn’t care about anyone but himself” She doesn’t even seem sad admitting it anymore and he feels for her and everything he made her go through in the past. “That’s not exactly true either, you also cared about Felicity. She’s your constant and I really don’t know what happened but whatever it was, I’m sure for you it was worth a shot just telling how you feel. We should always make sure the people we love know we love them” She sighs and a little melancholy is found in her words.

He smiles “That’s why you came in here? You wanted me to confess?”

Laurel lets out a short laugh. “I wanted to check up on you, since probably no one else knows that they ought to”

He thinks about telling her that Thea also knows and hates him for it, but she’s in a good mood and Thea’s reason are very solid, besides he would have to explain the whole situation and something tells him Laurel wouldn’t be so understanding if she knew what really happened, so he lets it go.

Oliver never thought Laurel would be the only person to ask him if he’s okay after Felicity left. And he ends up spending every minute of his lunch time talking about his feelings with a woman he once thought he loved.

\--

_Six months later…_

He doesn’t remember the last time he saw the name on his ID caller but he doesn’t hesitate a minute before answering. A deep voice greets him “Hello Oliver” the man says with his usual mix of politeness and appreciation. “I heard you were missing a blonde in Starling City” His stomach drops at the mere mention of her, is she in trouble? He has been looking for her, but of course if someone can drop out of the face of the earth it’s her.

“John this is unexpected” He says first and then quickly adds “How did you—is she okay?”

On the other end of the line his friend laughs, John was one of his sport buddies in college and he used to tease him relentlessly about Felicity and his lack of balls to tell her he liked her. He’s been living abroad for a while now; the last time they talked he was living in London and married to a work colleague named Lyla, which was easily 2 years ago.

“She’s good. I’m not allowed to give you much info, in fact I’m not even allowed to make this call but the girls have been dragging me to galas and other ridiculous events for the last two weeks so I figured they had it coming” When he says the girls his usual tough voice turns soft and he can picture him smiling. Always acting tough, that should be John Diggle’s tagline.

“You’re with her? Where?” Oliver says finally understanding that for the first time he might be able to get her to at least talk to him.

“Felicity is okay and she’ll tell you herself when she’s ready” He answers mostly disregarding his question. “For what I’ve been told you chose the worst possible time to man up and tell her you loved her man” He’s laughing again and Oliver can help but smile at his friend sense of humor.

“You did warn me this would happen” He continues with the joke, knowing John well enough not to try to pry information out of him.

“You have to start listening man” They continue talking and catching up, as well as they can considering John won’t talk about specifics like places or the work he’s currently doing. He realizes how much he missed his friend and how great it would be to catch a plane and spend some time with him and everyone there.

John doesn’t give him much, she’s fine, it’s practically all he says. He doesn’t mention if she’s working, or she regrets her decision or if by some miracle she misses him, all he gets its she’s fine, and that’s at least far more information than he’s had for the last six months.

He still hopes that she’s ready someday and that someday comes soon.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're almost at the end of this fic. Thank you so much for the feedback, I hope you keep enjoying this till the very end.  
> Another time jump, Olicity time and a little Tommy/Thea/Oliver interaction coming your way...

\--

_18 months later…_

“Are you planning on staying here for the rest of the night or is socializing a possibility?” She says entering the room with a teasing smile. He’s glad they had figured it out, he’s glad he didn’t lose her. “Come on, let’s get out there you old hermit” His sister says as she proceeds to clung to his hand and moves him towards the door.

“Thea, I’m not in the mood to charm anyone tonight. Besides this party is not about me for once” He explains getting out of her hold.

“Everyone is asking for you and technically you’re supposed to say a few words for the happy couple, you promised” She answers with hopeful eyes.

“I was searching the internet for a toast for this situation and came out blank. I suppose google didn’t know what to tell me when I wrote _best man wedding toast for my ex-girlfriend and best friend/ sister’s half brother’s wedding”_ Two years ago he would’ve thought this was madness, but a lot can change in a few years’ time, so much so that now he’s convinced this is the best development he has witness since his best friend was almost left at the altar.

_“_ Well as always we’re involved in a very unique situation” She says amused “At least on this wedding you have no intention of stealing the bride away huh?” She is still using a light tone and her smile is still in place but the sadness he feels with her comment doesn’t go away looking at her eased expression. “Besides I think this time she really does love him enough to go through with it”

Before he can make any snarky comment on the subject the door to the room they are in opens again and Tommy comes in closing the door behind him.

“So I’m missing my best man out there” He says with the happiest smile Oliver has seen on him in a while. “And since the bride stuck around for the actual wedding day this time, I say it would be a good idea to get through the party before she decides to bolt”

Apparently the only one who doesn’t find the situation funny is Oliver. “Go ahead guys don’t you have another runaway bride joke laying around?” Oliver says humorlessly.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch you’re not even the one that got dumped almost at the altar the last time” Tommy smiles and Oliver instantly feels a pang of guilt, for the umpteenth time since Felicity left them both. His best friend didn’t know the truth, he never told him how he was largely responsible for his fugitive bride situation, and now that some time has passed he isn’t sure he will ever tell him. He doesn’t deserve to be absolved for this particular sin, plus Tommy is happy now, why mess with a good thing?

“I’ll be right out” Oliver promises and the groom points at him with a fake menace before stepping outside and leaving him all alone with Thea once again.

\--

“You’re back” Those are the only words that he can muster saying out loud, they are another million running through his mind, but he is silently staring at her, possibly wide eyed, definitely nervous, and curious and happy, unquestionably so very happy to see her.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you man” Tommy says with a big smile on his face. “She didn’t want to come to the wedding for some reason but-“

“I think is very clear why I wouldn’t feel comfortable at the wedding Tommy Merlyn” She tells him with a smile of her own, and he is suddenly transported to a weird parallel universe where Tommy and Felicity had inside jokes and were fine, fine after she left him at the altar with little to no explanation. “But you know I’m really happy for you and Laurel, which is a thing I never would have thought I would say, like ever” She laughs awkwardly and Tommy grins at her, while Oliver’s just standing there petrified by the exchange and the situation.

“Talking about the missus I think I have to go check on her for a second” Tommy stands up from the couch he’s sitting on directly in front of Felicity and exits the room, leaving Oliver at a loss.

“So…” Felicity says after a long pause, things are past tense and he appreciates she’s saying anything at all but, he isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say to her after all this time. “For someone hell bent on talking to me you’re awfully quiet Oliver” She tells him like it’s a joke to her, like him seeing her there is funny somehow.

“I guess I figured after millions of missed calls and voice mails you didn’t return I would never actually get the chance” He responds quietly not once meeting her eyes.

“I’m here aren’t I?” She retorts a bit harsher than usual.

“Yeah about that, why are you here again?” Oliver asks and his anger is getting the best of him, he’s frustrated and over trying to deny it. “You dropped out of the face of the earth Felicity, you’ve been gone for what? Two years? And you expect me to just talk to you? Tell you what I’ve been trying to say all of this time? Without so much as a fucking explanation as to where you were?” His voice is filling the room, Moira wouldn’t be proud of his current manners, but he’s so infuriated he can’t stop himself.

“I was out of the country for a while, then I went to Central City to work with Ray Palmer we’ve been collaborating ever since” She explains nonchalantly like the fact that she was completely MIA from his life was not a big deal.

“Are we calling it collaborating now?” As soon as the words leave his lips he knows they were the wrongs ones, but he’s feeling ambushed and unprepared, this of course was bound to happen.

“Well it took you long enough” She says standing up and crossing the room towards the door. “I thought this moment would go a lot of ways, but you calling me out for sleeping with someone, I wasn’t prepared for that one” Felicity’s already closing the door when he catches her wrist and makes her pause and look up at him, it’s probably the first time they’ve really looked into each other’s eyes since her reappearance in his life a few minutes ago. It’s intense just to look at her, her eyes filled with something he couldn’t identify, resolve’s showing there too, she has a plan there is a reason she is back and he needs to know why.

“Why now?” He says softly, almost a whisper, it’s also full of mix emotions and irrationality.

She sighs. Neither of them look away from another but the intensity in their connection is about to burst them both into flames.

“It took me a while to catch up” She finally says in the same intense low tone he used before.

He isn’t sure if it could even be real. He has dreamt about her return so many times, that being there with her just feels like another delusion.

She slowly takes his hand in hers holding it gently making small circles with her thumb. “If you recall I don’t like admitting when I’m wrong and you being right? That’s totally uncommon” Felicity’s going for humor, he knows she is nervous so her babbling is about to make its stellar appearance. “I’m the logical one Oliver, I’m the one that’s sure love is as much about commitment and combined purpose that it is about chemistry, I don’t mind the fairy tale but I also want the companionship and—I betrayed him and I didn’t regret it which was much worse, I didn’t like the person I became after we… I’m not that girl” Tears are pooling in her big blues and he’s a second away from reaching to touch her face but her hand keeps his warm and secure still.

“You’re not a cheater Felicity” He says reassuring her with a sad smile.

“I did cheat, and as they said you only have to kill one person to be a killer right?” He’s breathing deeply, for a time there he forgot how awful she felt with their previous situation.

He lets go of her hand and embraces her running him hands through her hair softly. “It’s all in the past, we all made mistakes and did you see him out there? He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. Apparently we should have exchanged partners’ years ago” Oliver is going for conciliatory but she pulls away at the mention of their exes.

“Are you seeing someone right now?” She asks trying to act as if the question isn’t loaded.

“Define seeing?” Oliver questions with a slight smirk plastered on his face. As soon as he sees her face fall he adds “Felicity, I’m not”

He can tell she has something more to say but she’s holding back, so he takes the opportunity to let some things out himself. “Truth be told, even if I was… It wouldn’t matter, not if you’re back and willing to give us a try” She’s surprised to hear him say it, her eyes are wide and that’s even after she attempted to control it.

“Oliver, you can’t say things like that” She finally tells him with conflicted eyes.

He smiles at that, because hell yes he could. “That’s up for debate, in the meantime dinner?”

“We’re at a wedding Oliver, I don’t think-“She begins ranting and he cuts her off before her argument becomes weaker.

“Do you prefer to go out there and have a sit at the wedding’s party table? I’m sure that would be a lot of fun too” He’s being a little ironic yes, but it’s all in good humor, which she apparently appreciates because she smiles at that.

“Fine” She tells him simply with a resigned tone, and before she can change her mind again he takes her hand in his and escapes the ballroom leaving Tommy, Laurel and their past behind in a swift move.

\--

“Oliver…” She begins and yes is a warning voice mostly because he is too resilient about this place; she’s beginning to find it absurd.

He lets out a crack of a laugh, it’s weird a sound she probably has never heard him make. “Trust me” He says and takes her hands and leads her inside.

The place is completely empty, it shouldn’t be considering it’s a Saturday night, prime time for a restaurant/bar for sure. She’s about to begin questioning what’s going on when a brunette girl appears and leads then to a table addressing Oliver as Mr. Queen, as if he’s a regular.

And of course she leads them to the exact same table they ate at the last time they were there. That time when they encountered one of Oliver many hook ups, reminding Felicity what monumental mistake she was about to make. All in all she has some crappy memories of this place and can’t for the life of her understand why he doesn’t just let it go.

“Here we go again” She mutters softly and again Oliver finds it funny enough to crack a laugh, that weird thing he’s doing a lot tonight. “What is so funny Oliver? Care to share?” She’s beginning to get exasperated by his weird attitude and silence.

“I took some precautions this time around” He says as if answering her unsaid questions. “I made Tommy promise he would stay at his wedding at all times, so he’s not going to make a surprise appearance, also closed the place down so we won’t encounter any past mistakes of mine hanging out here and reminding you of the horrible person I used to be” He tells her all that with a relaxation she has hardly seen in him before.

Ideally she would laugh but instead she frowns because frankly she doesn’t find it funny. And he notices she doesn’t because his smile softens and he takes her hand in his caressing it softly with his thumbs.

She kisses her hand and the real surprise is that that’s not even the weirdest thing he had done tonight. “I want to make this right so bad” He says and he’s not trying to be charming, there’s no charade behind it. “They say third time’s a charm right? And I want this to be it for us; I don’t want any regrets or words left unsaid between us”

She nods and holds his hand tightly, she doesn’t entirely understand why this place has so much significance to him but she’s willingly to go with it “Okay” He gives him and he smiles widely. He asks the brunette from before for some drinks and begins telling her about the last two years of his life, and it turns out he bought the place, which she doesn’t expect or understands. “You bought Verdant? Why?”

He runs a hand through his short hair and sighs “This is going to sound insane, so bear with me” He warns her and she smiles at his uneasiness “There’s a symbolism to this place for me, we had make it or break it moments here before and they all went to the break it pile. If I had being honest with you the first time I took you here, If I had said: Felicity I love everything about you and I don’t know the first thing about being faithful and I suck at relationships but I want to try this, I want this more than anything else…” His voice broke a little and tears were dangerously close to falling from her eyes. He was giving her a speech, like a full on romantic monologue and she couldn’t believe it. Also he said the words and she was finding it hard to breathe. “Well maybe it had gone in a different direction and… later after we slept together and I brought you here again, I should have said that I didn’t want to live without you, that I wanted and was completely prepared to give you everything. I would be faithful and honest and I had my life in order and the only thing I was missing was you every morning by my side, maybe I should have even proposed and-“

“Oliver” She stops him before he gets carried away, because that’s not what that was about, it still isn’t. “I couldn’t have handle it if you had proposed, because in the name of being completely honest, a part of me felt like I was being thrown between you and Tommy, like for you it was some kind of contest, you wanted me because you couldn’t have me and that made me interesting and unattainable and all the things you secretly long for” His face that was almost flushed before starts turning into a frown, he is surprised at her words.

“You thought I was playing around?” His words sound laced with anger and disappointment. And she gets it but what was she supposed to think when after all those years he decided to want her before her wedding to his best friend. “You sound just like Thea” He says after a long pause and she knows the surprise is evident in her face because he continues. “She thought I slept with you because I hadn’t before, as if you were some kind of conquest for me”

She wants to ask, _was I?_ But he seems too hurt right now for her to go there.

“She knew?” She asks instead because in the years she’s been gone she had talked to Thea more than once and she had never brought it up, which for Thea Queen is unheard of.

“She found out after you left, apparently she had her suspicions and I confirmed it unwillingly. You know how it goes with her” He appears lost in thought he’s talking about Thea but she knows he’s still hung up on her previous statement. A part of her wants to comfort him after all she did come back to try to work it out, to see if this thing between them it’s not just a fickle of her imagination. But her insecurities have not just disappeared, they still have a lot to talk through but maybe tonight they can try to enjoy it themselves instead.

“So why did you bought this place again?” She asks him with a soft smile and its clear how grateful he is for the change of pace in their conversation.

He sighs “I could take this place and make it better; it was a sentimental buy at first but it turns out I’m good at bar managing” She looks around at the deserted place and looks back at him about to make the obvious question but he explains before she can say a word. “It’s closed, the owner needed a private place to talk things through with someone he loves” He says it again as if it’s nothing, as if he had said it a thousand times before.

“You like to do that huh?” She asks teasingly and she isn’t sure if he’s going to understand what she means at first.

“I do” He answers and gives her a look that makes her knees weak. “Telling you I love you is fun, especially when you get all flustered about it” She can’t believe the way he goes about it, like its common and well known.

“Oliver…” She doesn’t know where this conversation could go, does she love him? Well yeah of course she does, is she ready to tell him so? Maybe not, maybe there’re still too many unresolved issues between them for her to go there.

“Don’t say it back just to make me feel at ease” He tells her after she doesn’t continue.

“I wasn’t planning on it” She says back and he smirks at her. “I’m very confused about this you know? You’re being uncharacteristically cheery and do I dare say happy?”

He smiles and takes her hand again making a point on taking his time to respond. “I’ve been working some things out and now that you’re here well… There’re few things that could top that. You know what? Let me take that back, there’s nothing that can top you being here tonight” She’s seen so many facets of Oliver over the years, but she can honestly say she has never seen him be this vulnerable, this open… and it’s so damn sexy she can hardly stay away from his touch, even his hand on hers feel heated.

Felicity spends the night on cloud 9 with him right there by her side. They make small talk, discuss a few things about their time apart, they barely touch each other, they don’t kiss, but just the way he looks at her with such adoration and respect she feels like he’s running his hands all over her constantly.

Maybe it’s a projection of her own hesitation that when their night comes to an end he doesn’t kiss her, even though she knows he’s barely containing himself. She’s not scared of the physical part or their relationship, in fact she’s very eager to get to it, but she feels like going there before all their issues are out in the open is not the best idea.

So they end their night with a simple goodbye hug when he drops her off at the Starling Grand where she’s staying the night until she finds a new place, i _f_ she ends up deciding to stay.

\--

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos, and comments and all around support. Writing this has been a fun experience, and we're almost done. I'm thinking one more chapter to go after this one, but since I haven't written it, it could go either way. Your comments on the matter would make my day. - D

 “Disrupting my honey moon might get you in trouble with Mrs. Merlyn you know?” He says grinning as he takes a seat across from her at the hotel café where they’re currently serving breakfast. It’s the morning after her date with Oliver, and she feels like one of the top things she has to get off her chest is being finally and completely honest with him, before he leaves for a two moth honeymoon trip.

“I’ll be sure to apologize to her in person for this little detour” She responds in a light tone. She had in fact spoken to Laurel for a few minutes the night before and she could tell she was honestly glad to see her, there was no longer hard feelings or awkwardness or any type of competition between them, which was why she didn’t even blink when Felicity asked her if she would mind if she saw Tommy for a little bit this morning before their trip. “I’m so happy for you Tommy, you got the happy ending you deserved” Her tone was a little more charged this time, it wasn’t like she could forget once it was supposed to be them living this dream together.

He smiled nodding. “I’m glad one of us was strong enough to call it quits” When she went to him that night and told him she couldn’t do it, she thought for sure they would never be able to be on the same room together without it being a disaster, but as always Tommy surprised her when he looked appropriately astounded but not all that mad. She didn’t give her all her reasons that night, and in the time she was away the few times they talked to each other it had been short and simple. _I’m in love with your best friend_ was not something you told your ex fiancé over the phone. Tommy recognizing he had thought about ending it too was a welcomed surprise to her now.

“Crazy enough maybe” She added not wanting to let him make her sound like the hero of the story in any way, she knew she had hurt him badly.

“We we’re settling and I was too blind or too much of coward to admit it” He told her with a deep thoughtful voice that stated how much he had thought about it in the past few years. “It was so easy to be in love with you that I didn’t have much reason to question it” He admitted and after a beat he continued. “Being with Laurel has been very different in many ways, apparently easy isn’t always real”

She was the one nodding along this time. It was easy and fun and she felt safe and happy with him, she owed him a lot, and she would always love him. It was just that now she realized what she missed most about him had nothing to do with them being a couple. She missed his goofy grin and the way he always made her laugh, she missed their quiet evenings watching TV together or how he was one of the few people that could handle her under stress. She missed her friend Tommy more than she missed her boyfriend or fiancé. She loved her friend Tommy and was so happy that she hadn’t broken him, so happy he got the girl and the marriage and the family he was looking for from the moment his mother died.

“Which is why I’m not surprised you’re back Smoak” He says startling her back into the conversation. She gave him a curious look and he smiled knowingly. “I thought you would be otherwise occupied this morning if I’m being honest” Was he really saying that he… “And the face of that man yesterday proved every one of my theories about you two”

She couldn’t believe he knew the one thing she was afraid to tell him. “Tommy, I’m-“

“You don’t need my permission Felicity, I’m not wise enough to give you any advice. I was half in love with another woman and was completely willing to marry you” The surprise had to be clear on her face because Tommy chuckled. “What a mess we were about to make huh? And don’t think I wasn’t devastated when you told me the wedding was off…. I was hardly getting by for a few weeks there and then I realized life was moving on without me and I couldn’t stop living just because we we’re over” He smiles and it’s a weird thing to do in the middle of a tough conversation. “Oliver was like a ghost for months, it was bad to the point that I realized I wasn’t the one really suffering from you being gone”

Tommy was making it sound like it was okay for her to do what she did, and she couldn’t handle it for a minute longer. “I cheated on you” She confesses after years of guilt. There’s something in his eyes that tells her he didn’t know this. He knew she was in love with Oliver, but he didn’t know about this. “And I felt so guilty and so mad at myself for letting it happen, I… wasn’t brave enough to tell you, I should have, you deserved to know that I wasn’t who you thought I was”

He took a long drink of his mimosa and his eyes stayed away from hers for a few minutes. Hopefully this wouldn’t be what broke their friendship, but she would more than understand if it did. “I… I wasn’t aware that happened, or maybe I didn’t want to see it? Oliver was acting so off and you were constantly at the office and that weekend we spent at the Queens together was terrible, but I thought most of it was my own feelings for Laurel, my own guilt for being jealous of them” He was thinking things through, playing back every moment to see if he could find what he missed the first time around.

She gave him some time to wrap his head around it before speaking up again. “I’m sorry I did that to you, you didn’t deserved being cheated on, not like anyone deserves it but especially you, you didn’t. You were the best boyfriend and the most caring loving person for me and I’m so so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to keep it in my pants and-“Felicity was talking really fast and Tommy’s face was gentle and he was finally able to look back at her.

Tommy sighs. “Do you remember the weekend when I went to the Queen’s by myself? Well they were a few, but you know the one? When I came back early on a Sunday…. Well, I ended up going there and there was just Thea and one of her on and off boyfriends and Laurel went because Sara had promised her that she would join her later in the day… and Thea and her boy toy disappeared and Sara never showed up. It was just me and Laurel, we didn’t… nothing physical happened, but the wanting was too much for me, and I couldn’t even sleep so I took my car and left at like 3 am, at 7 I was at your door because I felt like shit” They were staring at each other and it was a mixture of hurt and understanding and most of all there was relief mirrored in both their faces as clear as day. “I don’t like to think about you sleeping with him while we were together… Frankly? It sucks to know that happened, but you’re exactly who I have always thought you were Felicity. I love you and I’m indebted to you for being the one to face the music and tell me you couldn’t do it. I don’t know if we would have been happy; I don’t think it would have been that bad, maybe if we had moved to another country and avoided Oliver and Laurel forever it would have gone perfectly fine. I’m really happy now though, so how I got here, it doesn’t really matter much anymore”

He stands up abruptly and takes her hand guiding her to do the same, when she comes to stand near him he hugs her tight. She feels like crying and she’s not sure if she’s doing it out of sadness or happiness, but a few silent tears fall down anyway.

“Thank you” She tells him softly, she did need his permission. He was her emotional compass for so long that she couldn’t go be with Oliver without him knowing everything first.

“There’s no need to thank me, I love you Smoak and I know you’re brave enough to face your fears, so go on, be happy, after all we all came into this word to do just that” He smiles so brightly that every one of her uncertainties are forgotten for a minute, here he is standing in front of her the picture of happiness and she can’t believe this is the same guy she left, he looks wise beyond his years, like he has all the secrets of the world stored in that mind of his.

She smiles back at him, his energy’s contagious. “I see you when you get back” Felicity tells him as she brushes her lips on his cheek gently.

He grins “I sure hope so Ms. Smoak”

Tommy Merlyn walks towards the hotel lobby, and she’s filled with joy, he made his life what he wanted it to be, and her selfish acts didn’t deter him from getting there. She feels at peace with the past, with her mistakes, knowing that he turned out alright makes everything better.

\--

“I’m part two of your to-do list for the day huh?” The young woman says smiling knowingly as she approaches her car. She’s always been more than a little intuitive when it came to her, maybe that’s what happens when you really make someone your family, you known them more than they like you to every now and then.

Felicity smiles back at her as Thea gets into the car and they begin their drive “I’m on an apologizing tour, and yes you’re act 2 of today’s show” She tells her and Thea nods. “I hope it goes as well as the last one did”

“My brother is a softie when it comes to you” She says easily and then adds “In fact both my brothers have a Smoak weakness” And there goes that, Felicity thinks, knowing Thea is going straight to the point. “I’m not that much of a fan sometimes” She tells her in a neutral tone.

“So… no small talk then?” Felicity asks to fill the silence before the real conversation begins, she’s not actually waiting for Thea to reply, but she does.

“We’ve been making small talk for the last I-don’t-remember-how-many months” Thea cleverly points out.

On the red light that follows Felicity looks back at Thea who looks if not entirely mad, a little over it. “I haven’t been avoiding the conversation, I didn’t know… that you knew it was Oliver until yesterday” She confesses partly ashamed of not brining this up before, but again it wasn’t a very fun conversation to have, least of all over the phone from a thousand miles away.

“It was pretty obvious after you left…” She tells her looking pensive. “Look you’re my sister, no matter if you do in fact marry any of my brothers” Thea gives her a small smile at this and Felicity mirrors her. “I don’t like that it happened, it was a shitty situation, but you were right about leaving… I wasn’t the best advice giver when you told me about the cheating. I was just so caught off guard, I never expected you to-“

Felicity catches her knee with her free hand gesturing for her to stop for a second. “I didn’t like me very much either, that’s why I left, and maybe I should have told you before leaving… But I didn’t want to be persuaded to stay, not by you or Oliver or anybody. I cheated, it sucked, but it was a onetime only situation I swear, I know that doesn’t make it okay-“

“I know, I know. Look I wanted to talk about this now to get it out of the way. I hate secrets especially when they keep me from talking to you about things. Everyone knows what happened, it wasn’t just you that made a mistake, but you were the one that somehow made it less bad. So that’s that” She says reassuring her like only Thea Queen could do. She liked to be the moral police from time to time but after the storm passed there wasn’t anyone more caring or understanding that her.

A while later they arrived at a new little coffee shop that Felicity had read so much about on the internet, they were seated on a small cozy table near the window when Thea approached the other subject she wasn’t too eager to discuss just yet.

“So how was your date last night?”

Felicity smiles at Thea’s straightforwardness and doesn’t even waste time asking how she knew about it. “It was good” She says casually.

“That’s all I get? It was good?” She says looking at Felicity with disbelief.

She smiles guiltily “We had fun; he told me he loves me, in fact he repeatedly threw it out there and made it seem casual…”

“I’m not surprised by this” Thea says with pride “In fact I support his attempts at getting through to you, also he knows you well enough to know that you being back speaks well about his chances of making this work”

Felicity wants to deny Thea’s statement, but finds it very close to the truth. “Is he in a good place? Because if he isn’t, I swear yesterday he fooled me well”

Thea smiles widely. “He’s doing good, so stop looking for excuses not to jump right into it with him”

“I’m not looking for excuses” She defends herself.

“You always are, even when you don’t want to use them” And so their conversation took a turn, Thea obviously sensing that talking about Oliver all afternoon wasn’t going to increase his chances. Felicity was bad under pressure from the people she loved. She wanted to make her own decisions and what concerned her the most at the moment were Thea’s words about the excuses se was after, and the probability of it being true.

\--

A week later he opens the door to his apartment wearing a pair of blue strips pajama pants that hang low on his hips matched with a grey fitted tee. He looks like he just took a shower and the tips of his hair are still wet. He smiles widely amused by her presence. “Hey” He says holding her elbow and directing her inside.

“Hello” She responds taking her coat off for him and hanging it in the coat closet beside the entry.

They move towards the living room area where she sees he’s been working, there are papers everywhere and his laptop is open on an excel document that seems like the perfect way to get a headache. She hasn’t been in his apartment in years and the place looks more lived in than she had ever seen it look.

“Cozy” She tells him gesturing around them and he smiles lightly again, apparently not knowing what else to say. “I was waiting for your call today…” She says and if it sounds a little vulnerable, it isn’t a coincidence.

He just looks at her silently.

“And I wondered what happened, if there was a reason for the radio silence…” She’s doing her best to get him to explain but he’s not making it easy at all. “Did something happen?” She finally asks when he doesn’t seem to give in.

“It was an eventful work week” He says and she expects him to continue, but he doesn’t.

She nods careful not to look like the maniac she had been feeling like the whole day. “Oliver we saw each other every day for the last week, and yesterday you said you would call me so we could hang out and then nothing” Felicity is very aware of how crazy she sounds, but for once she doesn’t plan of sugarcoating how she feels. “I know work it’s tough but couldn’t you text me at least?” She says softly.

He lets out a laugh and she doesn’t like the tense expression on his face. “You’re mad because I disappeared for a day? Not even a day no, I haven’t talk to you for what 15 hours or so?” She knows better than to reply to that. “What do you want from me?” He says tiredly sitting throwing himself backwards into the couch.

The fact that he doesn’t answer any of her questions doesn’t go unnoticed. She sits next to him on the couch and before she can continue this awful and really useless conversation, she goes straight for the gold, she does what she’s been meaning to do every time they have said goodbye since she came back, she kisses him full on with a desperation she didn’t know she felt until she let herself go completely. He’s taken aback by her sudden action but after a second he follows through kissing her back with everything he has. A few minutes go by where they stop to breathe and go back at it the second they have enough air to do it all over again. She pulls his hair, his hands make their way through her naked skin, the frenzy begins to sweep them both away, until he stops his movements all together and makes some space between them appear.

“What… are… we doing?” He asks a little breathless still.

She begins to undo the buttons on her blouse, there’s not stopping her tonight.

“Felicity…” He says and she’s thinking he wanted it to sound like a warning but instead she feels her skin on fire. Oliver comes closer and takes her hands to stop her ministrations. “Wait” He tells her gently but his voice is hoarse. “This is not…” Words are failing him, probably because his eyes are running through her body, he clears his voice “You’re mad, am a little mad myself, so sex? Probably not the right call at the moment” The effort he puts into saying the words doesn’t go unnoticed by her.

She sighs and stumbles to the couch once again. Giving them both some space to breathe. “I’m acting crazy aren’t I?” Felicity knows herself well enough to grant him that much, she’s usually a really level headed person but being back here with him is making her head go to very unleveled places. He smirks at her but doesn’t respond. “I’m not actually mad at you for not texting me” She accepts after a few deep breaths “I’m just full on scared of this whole thing”

He looks at her surprised by her confession and proceeds to seat next to her on the coach, without touching her at all. “You scared of me?” Oliver says with a hint of a smile on his face, as if he finds the idea funny to being with.

“Not of you, per se, of us. Of the mess we made before, of not being able to make this work” She lets herself say in a low voice.

A faint laugh comes out of him and she glances back to see him stare at her with kindness. “You haven’t even given me a proper chance, in fact, I’ll go as far as saying you haven’t given yourself a fair chance either” He sighs but his eyes are hopeful as he continues. “We are not making the same mistakes, all the big things that were on our way before aren’t” He didn’t go into detail because they both knew what their limitations were then. “There’s just one thing that was holding us back, and still is” Oliver says catching one of her hands in his and intertwining their fingers. “And that’s you”

She laughs maniacally and he stares at her all calm and collected. “Me and my excuses huh?” She says still laughing a little; it was funny to her to realize that after all, the only thing standing in their way was _her_. “I’m a mess” She says and he smiles sweetly. “And I’m two seconds away from making you run the other way aren’t I?”

He smiles again but this time it looks a little pained “When are you going to realize than I’m not ever running the other way when it comes to you?” They share an intense glance and then he’s kissing her again, without heat, it’s not what it was just a few minutes ago. This time he’s reassuring her that there’s no one else for him, and for once she thinks she might believe him.


End file.
